firms them. As parents or caregivers it means listening with empathy to their words and concerns. Though our points of view may differ slightly or greatly, we show them the depth of our love, when we look in their eyes and see and hear their soul. What greater gift can we give them?

Listed below are ten tips for connection though empathy and compassion. They are incredible tools I have learned from great teachers in my lifetime. These teachers are from a myriad of backgrounds, yet they all have contributed to me in learning to become a person who is more compassionate and empathetic then ever before. I hope and trust you will find these tools useful. 1. Listening with Empathy and Compassion: What is listening with empathy and compassion? It is listening to others with our whole heart, soul and mind without judgement or criticism. It is repeating back to someone what we’ve heard. It is creating a safe environment and acknowledging their feelings.

2. Take time to be with our children and listen to their thoughts, opinions and feelings, free from our own judgement or correction. Give the freedom to share.

3. Truly honor our children and encourage them to share on their terms by creating a loving and open space for them to do so. I say to my kids, “I am here to listen whenever you are ready to talk.”

4. Be a friend and still be Dad or Mom. Children crave discipline, I know I did. We can be friends with our kids, love them, empower them through the power of choice and instill loving and caring discipline to help create structure in their lives. They may be very grateful for it later in life.

5. Family sharing: when everyone practices the power of listening with empathy and compassion. If someone appears withdrawn or unwilling to do this, we can “find the gold” underneath their “shield”, discover their true feelings and acknowledge them. Sometimes all we need is someone to hear us.

6. Defenselessness: Teach kids the power of defenselessness. When we fully listen and let someone talk without taking their stuff on, we stand firm in the power of defenselessness. If kids are blaming us for what is going on, it is important to hear them and respond rather then to interrupt and react. The fire of blame dies out real quick when someone stands in defenselessness. When kids see this they will see the power in it and begin to practice it in their own lives. Listening with open hearts and open minds takes us out of our story and our pain and allows us to focus on someone else’s without making ourselves the reason for it.

7. Intrinsic Value: We are all intrinsically valuable beings. Our worth comes from who we are, regardless of what we do, what we own, who we know or how much we achieve. When children see us embody this principle, they will mirror us and have a firmer, more solid foundation. They will then enjoy all the fruits of their life.

8. Conflict Resolution: Listening with empathy and compassion provides a platform for everyone to be heard and take responsibility for one’s own feelings, words and actions. This means eliminating the need for blaming. It also means not taking things personally or “not taking someone else’s stuff on.”

9. The Law of Projection: What we see in others is what we see in ourselves. Sometimes our fears and hurts from our own childhood can be stirred up when talking to our kids and we can “project” our guilt, shame and fear on them. We can avoid this by making the distinction of what is their pain and what is our pain.

10. The Power of Love: There is nothing more powerful then love. When we are brave enough to love others and ourselves, our world shifts and transforms in ways we only dreamed possible. © 2003 Steve Viglione We invite you to share your experiences, opinions and questions on this article. Please visit the PLW Community and leave your comments. previous articles by this authore-mail this article to a friend

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Steve Viglione is a professional speaker, children's author and the founder of The I AM Foundation in San Diego, CA (www.iamfoundation.org) which gifts books and music to children worldwide. Steve can be reached at steve@iamfoundation.org or by calling 1.800.684.1313.

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The underlying philosophy of Planetlightworker.com is to provide a space for many different flavors of the truth. The views and opinions expressed by the authors of our articles and/or interview subjects are not necessarily those of the publisher, management, staff or the Lightworker Corporation. We do not endorse any individual product or concept, but rather, offer this information for your individual discernment. We are happy to receive your opinions and feedback and actively encourage you to send us your views for publication in future issues. Copyright: Lightworker Corporation, 2002. In the Name of ONE Sandy http://oneflynangel.com

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