I notice that tensions are running high these days. That usually means confusion and uncertainty are at 1 and 2 in the post position. Things we grab at seem to be melting through our hands. Uncertainty seems to have some effect on solid objects as well as the plans we make concerning them and ourselves. People are moody and a lot of them are brittle. When you can’t find the source of your anxiety it seems that whoever is closest will do for cause.

I have no idea who I am. I am supposed to know maybe, but I don’t. There are some peculiarities about my state that I have never encountered in anyone else. It’s a lot like my saucer which has all kinds of features but they aren’t operative. The lights are on but the power is off. That doesn’t make any sense but that’s how it is.

I used to sell everything I had and then fly across the country on what I imagined was some errand of mercy but which always turned out to be just coming and going. I thought it was my job to fix things, help ease the crisis points in the lives of those I cared about but I couldn’t find anyone to fix me. Spiritual masters would give me funny looks like there was some kind of inside joke but I never got let in on it. The amounts of chaos and confusion that attended me were like bad drunks that never shut up. I didn’t know what anything meant, I just went through it.

Once I was on one of my routine, ‘sell everything and fly somewhere’ scenarios. This time is was to stay with a friend who was dying. He had rich parents and they had bought him a beautiful home in the woods near a famous town. He couldn’t do much by this time and his lovely expanse of lawn had become pocketed with leaves from the large deciduous trees that stood at various points around. I was asked to see what I could do to fix the situation.

This was a large area of lawn. It was less than an acre but not by much. I got a rake and began to remove the decomposing pockets of leaves and I saw right away that this was going to be a long affair. There wasn’t anyone else who was going to do this. It was clear that there were many long days of work ahead of me. If I was to focus on this factor my work would have been far more arduous than it already was. The awareness in my mind of how big a venture this was would prove to be every bit as taxing as the actual effort involved. So, I emptied my mind of the work in front of me and just went from pocket to pocket until I was done. One day I was done and it surprised me that I had actually accomplished it.

I wasn’t paid for this, not in ordinary coin. Later, after my friend has died his parents, out of gratitude for the various things I had done, left me certain of his possessions. A few months later when I went to claim them, his materialism-worshipping younger sister would not allow me to and sent me on my way.

I’ve had other situations like this. For a long time I used to do common construction labor for minimum wage. It was sometimes very cold and I was ill dressed but I did it anyway. A point came where I told myself that I would never work for less than three times what I had been getting and, just like that, I got paid that amount. A point came when I told myself that I wouldn’t drive anything but a new car anymore and that happened too. Today I have a new car and an older classic car and the conscious power within life makes sure that I have what I need when I need it, even though I don’t actually have anything beyond the tools of my trade and some books and clothes. I’m fine with that.

What I’ve learned is that it’s what’s going on in your mind that determines the meaning of what is going on outside of you. Physicists have proven that the universe is thought born and that everything is composed of mind stuff. This is something that metaphysicians have known since the beginning. We cause everything to come into being based on what takes place in our minds. This world in which we live has been thought into being by our collective thinking, fueled by desire. Each individual world differs from the other based on the degree of organization and intensity- whatever the personal objectives are- within each of us.

On the many highways of life some of us drive without incident. Others are accident prone and some numbers die in transit for whatever the reason may be. Some of us are often stopped by the police and some of us never are. I used to encounter the authorities all the time and, for a time, they were chasing me all over the country as an enemy of the state. These days the authorities don’t even see me. Customs officials and all the rest of them just wave me through if they see me at all. In America it was very different. In America I set off alarms just walking down the street. A vibration in one place can mean something very different in another place.

I’ve said what I’ve said so far for a reason. I don’t know if I will manage to make the point I have in my mind but I suspect most readers will intuit what I am trying to say even if I don’t do it very well.

We are approaching a critical period in human history. No one knows what shape it is going to take and I have a suspicion it is going to be far more dramatic and descend more swiftly upon us than most of us would anticipate. People believe various things about the cause of what is coming. The cause of what is coming is our collective thinking about the possibilities. The very idea of 2012 is a presence in the human mind. There is a self-fulfilling prophecy at work. If enough people expect something then something is going to happen.

In ordinary times there is a collective mind set that the ordinary will prevail and it does. The greater mind holds everything in place according to the general view of reality held by the majority. Mind is responsible for everything; the weather, social, political and economic conditions. All of the ordinary potentials are still there. There’s no less food and money than before but there is a much greater, pervasive anxiety about it. Good times, bad times are meaningless in and of themselves. They shift position for the purpose of a growth in awareness. Every event and condition in life has no other purpose but to increase our awareness and force us to grow. If we refuse, if we become unyielding, we die and that is growth too.

The intensity of the pain of growth can be measured by our resistance to it. We resist growth because it means the loss of what we have and what is familiar to us in exchange for the unknown. Because we don’t trust the process we fight it. Our fighting it doesn’t make any difference. It happens anyway. A wiser mind accepts this inevitability and thereby reaps unexpected blessings all the way along.

We are making all of this happen because something within all of us is unsatisfied with what we are and what we have. We may not know this but it is so. If we look at what we are facing it can be overwhelming and that is why it is best to address just a single pocket of leaves at a time. We see a course before us and imagine the most likely events that will attend it but it is never what we imagined it would be. Even though it is our imagining that brings it into being it never matches up with what we think we imagined.

It seems to me that the whole point of this pending and unavoidable exercise is to throw us into a helpless reliance upon what we have been opposing and rejecting in pursuit of various chimera. It seems to me that the sole purpose of life is to inform us of the presence of divine agency. The more willing we are to embrace this, the more easily we will pass through it with the least wear and tear. Otherwise you ARE going to wear and tear because there is no way around it. It will be in front of you no matter in which direction you proceed.

The thing we don’t seem to get is that the primary engine of all that happens to us is benevolent to us. It’s not taking us somewhere we don’t want to go and it is not tormenting us for its own amusement. It’s just that we- in our insistence of knowing better- oppose our own best interest all the way down the line and just make the whole thing a lot harder than it has to be. I’m going to have to stop here but the idea will continue on in the minds contemplating it.

lesvisible.blogspot.com/2009/09/thought-born-universe-in-undisciplined.html