Message In A Bottle

look inside

* Step 1 ACCEPTANCE

* Step 2 CAME TO BELIEVE, there's got to be A

BETTER WAY

* Step 3 "Made a decision" TO BECOME A CONDUIT

of COMPASSION of LOVE

* Step 4 "Made a SEARCHING and FEARLESS

MORAL INVENTORY of OURSELVES"

* Step 5 DISCLOSURE

---------

Original intent,

TO BE UNDERSTOOD WAS TRANSFORMED INTO THE POWER OF UNDERSTANDING.

I take no credit for the outcome of my dire necessity to be understood

as it allowed me to understand on a Heavenly scale the importance

of loving "myself"... INTEGRITY...

And so I share with you all...

I have recovered from, a hopeless state of mind and body. No help of any kind from anyone, including the medical profession could curb, control, or stop me from destroying myself through full blown chronic alcoholism.

(sobriety date, Oct. 6th, 2006) I have accomplished this through no human will of my own.

I HAVE NO INTENTION OF DISRESPECT TOWARDS ANYONE CONCERNED.

Please forgive me for the depiction of graphic imagery and some of the language used to illustrate severity of state of mind during this past 2 years of granted professional help.

I cannot mask pain and physical injury with alcohol any longer or synthetic pharmaceuticals for that matter. Drugs never do for me, what they're supposed to do, or do for most people. Always make me feel extremely horrible and go out of balance mentally and emotionally. NOT an option.

I go see Medical Professionals and local Agencies to pursue necessary treatments for chronic back injury as well as retraining for necessary career change and nearly died as a result of professional help, mislead all the way through.

People do not understand alcoholism. Even Medical Doctors seem to have no clue unless they themselves are a recovered alcoholic or addict.

I've been battling alcoholism for over 12 years and been drinking very heavy every day for 17 years. Thirty to forty beers a day to be normal, double that on heavy drinking days. The last three to four years of drinking was straight Vodka. I had lost the power of choice, to drink or not, for nearly two decades, even though I did not slur my speech or stagger throughout all my drinking. My drinking was totally out of control; I was blacking out often, those last few years I was drinking on an empty stomach. The longest blackout lasted three weeks. Not good. I could no longer eat, yet all I wanted and needed was another drink, or more accurately another bottle of vodka, which led to pitiful and incomprehensible, demoralization.

It took me 12 years to "get it", to this point of proper balance, attained through spirituality of "Recovery Program", up until needing help due to chronic back injury and asking for it in August, 2007. By November of 2007 I was spiraling down quickly for another roller coaster ride from hell that lasted all the way up until the present day still, due to an unmanaged chemical imbalance from loss of income.

THIS LETTER WILL HELP EVERYONE TO BETTER UNDERSTAND THIS "SERIOUSLY MISUNDERSTOOD" DISEASE called ALCOHOLISM.

My intention is to share my true story of the mechanics and progression of this insane disease with the Medical Profession, Non-alcoholics and Society in general. From the point of view of a true alcoholic in recovery in order for all to have a better chance at comprehending this "seriously misunderstood disease".

Up until the Denial began to lift, due to being properly educated as to what Alcoholism Really is, recovery could not commence. Thanks to an amazing Recovery Program, this process became possible. Eventually accepting the consequences of this reality, I was given the grace to begin the recovery of my Body, Mind, and Spirit. My very life was spared due to becoming properly informed of the true Nature of my deadly malady… Denial of fear-based existence.

SOME REALITIES OF HUMAN LIFE ARE BEYOND UPSETTING… TO ME.

Total suppression of "environmentally clean technologies"… Suppression and discouragement of "natural healing methods", even to the point of recently attempting to pass a bill making "regular vitamins and minerals" No Longer accessible to regular people, is everyone blind???

ECONOMY OF WORLD BASED ON OIL and WAR on top of THE GROWING INFILTRATION of DRUGS. Illegal drug trade as well as Pharmaceutical. Along with putting mercury in people's heads, filthy polluting energy sources that are unnecessary and obsolete, loading the masses with dangerous drugs. Young and old alike… Society accepting this massive pharmaceutical drug pushing as all good, and normal???

THE "FEDERAL RESERVE", IS A PRIVATELY OWNED BANK and NOT IN FACT "FEDERAL" AT ALL. Just another clever deception to the world. American Business and International Bankers, who also control the Federal Gov, control the World Economy, based on U.S. currency.

WORLD ECONOMY BASED ON FIAT MONEY, which is to say, without precious metals or any commodity of any kind, to back the value of what is being printed as currency…Since 1933. Causing ridiculous constant Inflation increase over the last 76 years, totally affecting distribution of wealth and in turn, our cost of living.

SO, THE COMMODITY HAS BEEN THE HUMAN SPIRIT instead of "Gold". Total manipulations of the stock market… "ILLEGAL taxation through income tax for over 80 years".

SEVERELY ILLIGAL BANKING PROCEDURES SET UP FOR EXTREME PROFIT at the expense of human life… UNFORTUNATELY WAR IS BIG, BIG BUSINESS.

John Kennedy was, about to expose these truths. The Dark agenda stopped him. Collective consciousness was still too 'low' at the time to support such a disclosure.

IT IS EASIER TO IGNORE THE FACTS AND KEEP THE BLINDERS ON, CONCERNING MANY, MANY MATTERS.

I did not want to be a part of such an "oblivious" species and so I withdrew…why even bother…Hence, Massive Addiction, and squandering of many gifts, talents and my very life. Don't even bother trying to DO this life right as everything and everyone is corrupt and "ignorance" is clearly, "the way" of the human species. So consequently I became a bitter, struggling alcoholic and nearly drank myself to Death.

I could not stop drinking. The last six years of active alcoholism, if I was awake, I was drinking. I would rarely go 5 hrs without booze, too heavy of withdrawal. Must drink. No matter how great the need to stop, must drink, at all cost. The only way out, is clearly death… I am a goner…

I have since had a change of Heart; I want to share how that came about, with the world. I now want to share the most important insight ever. It's all about "tapping" into the right energy, nothing else matters. That's the purpose of "free will", of this life. To re-learn this. To remember and share this Truth with others as we are all "ONE".

Were it not for these Anonymous Recovery Program meetings and taking this program very seriously, I would surely be dead for the last three or so years.

I had completely lost my mind, my self-respect and my will to live any longer, as I could not stop this deadly behaviour. At this point I was 143 lbs., 40 to 50 lbs. under my normal healthy weight. Totally possessed and controlled by alcohol. I often had the feeling of being three feet beside myself. Out of my body. I have realised after sobering up that I was literally very nearly dead…often.

THIS "RECOVERY PROGRAM" SPEAKS OF, "AN ACT OF PROVIDENCE". I sincerely did not think that this solution would work for me, as I have had, no respect for anything concerning religion or God, in any way, for a very long time.

I have had this biased opinion towards "religion" and God since the age of about eight or nine years old. Before then, I was seriously contemplating becoming a priest.

Yes, I wanted to spread the "True positive aspects" of J.C.'s message. "We are all equal, male and female", and the "kingdom of God is WITHIN. Not out there, in a man made church."

I did not even remember this fact until digging deeply, trying to get to the bottom of this need, to get to the bottom of umpteen bottles of vodka constantly. Much was revealed about my purpose and myself in this lifetime, through the amazing process of Doing The Steps.

By the way, there is NO talk of religion per say in any way, at these "Recovery Program" meetings, thank Goodness for that. I would not have been able to stay long enough to sober up and get to live, if that was the case. I would and could not hear of such non-sense due to Catholic misinformation and fear-based abuse during early childhood.

This "Program" does not endorse or force any particular Religion upon anyone attending.

There is no rigid personal "self-defeating belief system" forced upon anyone.

THEREFORE TRUE EQUALITY IS PRACTICED IN THESE ROOMS. THIS IS WHY THIS PROGRAM IS SO HIGHLY successful with so many people from all-different backgrounds and beliefs, who were otherwise doomed.

A vast mixture of population who would normally not all get along, yet when one person is sharing, (talking) the rest of the room is completely silent, really 'truly', listening.

I am very hard pressed to find this kind of respect in people outside of these recovery rooms. Actually, I have not found this level of sincere respect anywhere else on the planet, in large or small numbers of people gathered. That is why, this program stuff works. True respect through TRUE equality.

ALL THAT'S REQUIRED IS TO ALLOW MYSELF TO TAP IN TO A POWER GREATER THAN MYSELF… "A loving God" or I prefer "a loving energy."

The rest of this letter will share what meditation has revealed to me. This Anonymous Recovery Program is about spiritual principles. It has nothing to do with Rigid Judgment, or Punishing Beliefs, just a "choice", a positive concept of your own choosing.

"A power greater than myself ", is all that IS required to make my beginning. Equality, not Dictatorship. Everyone Welcome.

ON A CONSCIOUS LEVEL, I THOUGHT I JUST DID NOT "LIKE" THE GOD CONCEPT… I had no idea how horribly affected I have been by being originally educated or miss-informed about a "God of Judgment".

Initial willingness is but the beginning. "A Power Greater than Myself" is required initially because of low-self worth due to low or no-consciousness. Result of lifetimes of DECEPTION forced upon population from generation to generation.

Organized Religion was forced upon me as a young child. Church and religious schooling, with real nuns, to deliver the false fear based message of: "Fear god, fear evil, fear humanity, be fearful of your own nature, be fearful of yourself". Respect this God through FEAR.

Something didn't ring true to me, about this whole picture. It's all about fear, it's all False…. This religion is all about respect through fear. Nothing short of child abuse, causing "psychological damage to the human mind and killing the spirit." Fear, to divide and conquer, to easily control the masses, through, you got it, Fear.

DECEIPT HAS KEPT THE HUMAN SPIRIT SQUASHED, has kept us from realizing our potential as an individual for the majority and consequently as a species.

ORGANIZED RELIGION HAS EVOLVED THROUGH MALE EGO, for control. People are so blind to every thing because of fear. Religion has taught us to pray improperly.

The way we have been taught to pray is to "ask" or "focus" on the removal of negative garbage, therefore attracting more garbage.

There must be no thoughts, feelings or emotions of "sorrow" while praying, or "requesting, removal of such sorrow." This is crucial. Must create feeling of desired outcome in HEART as though it already is manifested reality as we will get just that, law of attraction, quantum physics.

Must focus on positive outcome as though it already IS, reality…. We are so, so so, much more than we realize.

WE ARE CO-CREATERS & HAVE BEEN CONDITIONED OTHERWISE. WE HAVE BEEN KEPT IN THE DARK, BY MEANS OF MISS-INFORMATION… Deception.

It is time to wake up and be creative, be alive, be giving, be receiving...be Truthful, be Thriving.

IT TOOK SOME TIME TO SEPARATE AND DEVIDE SPIRITUALITY, FROM RELIGION… I did not think that this "Program" would work for me as I was, and I am not, like most people. I am not gullible or naive and I'm certainly not a follower. I have always been a leader by nature of character.

Nonetheless, I continued to attend these "meetings", as I was completely desperate. I was dying. Drinking enough booze, every day, to drop a rhino, and, on an empty stomach. Still, not staggering, but mental state, destroyed.

My inability to do anything smart, about this deadly addiction, totally baffled me. I have been a health fanatic, a very health conscious person all my life, in terms of nutrition and physical exercise, except for substance and outrageous, crazy behavioral addictions.

Very risky behavior, I did not respect my life at all. I thrived on extremely dangerous situations and people. A Huge internal conflict, because of this. Causing me to hate myself very deeply, but the scary part is that this self-hatred, was at a subconscious level. (Ignorance of chemical imbalance and how to fix it prior to age 27)

Therefore I was oblivious to the fact that I hated myself. I could not understand why a guy, as intelligent as I know I am, was always doing very stupid, very risky things.

LOW-SELF WORTH IS, AND HAS BEEN THE CULPRIT ALL ALONG...A true spiritual awakening, was, and is, the only way out of this killer disease. I have found this Divine intervention through this recovery program. Were it not for this program I would surely be dead…

A lot of inefficient, B.S. structures in place, built to look like they are there for our benefit, but helping very few. This affects the whole HEART of the planet by giving people a poor attitude towards our leaders. Supposedly the "Best Representations of our species". At a subconscious level people give up and accept unacceptable B.S. on a conscious level. "Why bother, they're not going to change."

THIS AFFECTS THE CONSCIOUSNESS OF THE ENTIRE PLANET HARSHLY, keeping the "SPIRIT" OF HUMANITY SUFFERING which is not what we are about.

We are beings that thrive on positive energy, anything less is just regressive to our true nature. Keeping the human species in infancy… in Denial… Asleep at the wheel.

For many years, over 15 years, I have had a dream of public speaking for the benefit of future

generations. Speaking to high school students in large numbers about something good…

"Don't let your youthful spirit die for anyone or any reason. Once that happens, life get's ugly, it all get's ugly. Life becomes a curse instead of a Gift.

Remain Passionate about your youthful beliefs, your direction. Remain excited about your purpose, whatever that may be. Believe in 'yourself'.

Take charge of 'your direction' but accept all the help you can get 'to be who you want to be'. Lean on 'God-given talents' as a starting point for possible directions. 'Sell your cleverness and purchase bewilderment' (Rumi)

Be in Awe, live in your Talents.Do not let an inefficient system bring you down.

Find a way to transform the governing body into something useful.

Find a way to make the system work 'for the people by the people', in THIS life."

Thanks to how the program works, I have been prompted to learn to open up on a lot of issues not normally spoken in the presence of a room full of people. Because of this I have "sharpened and polished" my Public Speaking abilities considerably through sharing very honestly and openly.

For me, being a chronic hard-core alcoholic, to drink is to die. The wrong prescription drug has in the past caused suicidal re-lapse and therefore, likely will again, lead to active alcoholism, which for me, is a death sentence.

YOU CANNOT LOOK AT A HUMAN BEING IN CRISIS FROM ONLY ONE ANGLE OR POINT OF VIEW. You must look at the whole picture, which is to say, physical, mental and emotional. Combination of the three make up "spiritual condition or wellness". In all fairness I did not fully disclose severity of drinking past, I apologize for this.

With the inability to disclose so much personal information to Medical Doctors, in such brief appointments, many recovering Alcoholics and Addicts are NOT receiving proper medical attention. There is a serious lack of understanding concerning alcoholism, addiction and the 'recovery process' amongst regular people understandably, but unfortunately also the Medical Profession as well.

When even mildly, chemically imbalanced (nutrient deficient), arrogance and sarcasm has been a problem. When off-balance I cannot help but recognize and dwell on negative situations and behaviors. Also, ADD to the max when even slightly malnourished.

Uncontrollably cut people off in conversation, very sickening to me, as I can't stand people who do that. I cannot stand anything or anyone when like this 'cause I can't stand being me in this condition.

THIS VERY PERSONAL STEP 4 AND STEP 5 IS SHARED with you to let you know that I am living beyond my life expectancy. I am lucky, to be still alive, NO exaggeration.

I have worked diligently, for over 13 years to manage Bi-Polar issues and for the last five years to finally get relief from non-stop self-destructive drinking. I don't want to be angry, I don't ever want to hurt anyone, and I don't want to destroy my life over a simple nutritional deficiency.

MENTAL HEALTH WOULD NOT HELP AT ALL, IN MAKING AN EMERGENCY SHRINK APPOINTMENT.

Medical Doctor Not Hearing Me at all when discussing anything pertaining to my addictive nature, "alcoholism in full remission" and that needing to remain in remission, or my loss of income situation, "as well as inability to function" with the most basic of tasks. Over ten months AFTER loss of income to get a shrink appointment???

THE MENTAL AND EMOTIONAL UPHEAVAL AND COMPLETE HOPELESSNESS OF RELAPSE IS NOT SOMETHING TO PLAY AROUND WITH. The consequence could be the most absurd insanity imaginable… DEATH…

Alcoholism is not a joke, although most people just don't understand unless they have, first hand experience. It is cunning, it is baffling, and it is powerful. It is Deadly. Chronic alcoholism does not just stop because it's the sensible thing to do. Chronic alcoholism will not stop for anything or anyone once it is at a certain point, that point, being chronic, as I was, for the last six years of my drinking. If I was awake, I was drinking.

Chronic alcoholism has absolutely nothing to do with willpower or lack thereof. I AM NOT, a weak willed person, in any way, shape or form. This fact has made "accepting" my alcoholism extremely difficult.

I seriously thought for years that I could and would "out smart this condition". That somehow someway I would find a discipline that would allow me to drink, safely…. Ha… I was wrong… The fantasy that willpower would allow me to drink safely, once it got "bad enough", had to be SMASHED.

It is a hopeless state of mind and body caused by deep self-hatred. Can only be overcome through a vital Spiritual experience, continued with living properly, doing things right, day by day…

"One day at a time"… No cheating myself.

Chronic Back injury must be addressed through proper Osteopathy treatments, Tai Chi, Yoga & nutrition to allow the body to heal & allow the person, in that body, to be in Harmony, instead of agonizing pain & disease, wanting to *!#%ing DIE. I CANNOT sweep the problems under the carpet with painkilling drugs. Re-activates chronic alcoholism

Before sobering up, I was unaware of the fact that I despised myself. I was in such denial of this lifetime truth that I was oblivious as to why I could clean up the majority of my outrageous, chaotic behavior by choice (thirteen years ago, also the beginning of nutritional therapy for bi-polar disorder) but could not stop or moderate drinking. Only became thirstier, and drank more. Absolutely baffling...

THROUGH DOING THOROUGH 12 STEP WORK, I DISCOVERED THAT I HAD EXTREMELY LOW SELF-WORTH, AT A SUB-CONSCIOUS LEVEL, which manifested in daily life, whether I liked it or not.

Whether I agreed with it or not, did not seem to matter.

Something in my head (subconscious mind) wants me dead, and on a good day, it wants me to suffer to varying degrees. I cannot fix this reality through will power or knowledge of any kind.

The only way to override this horrible low-self worth, subconscious reality is to tap into Loving Energy. "A power greater than myself". Most call this God, I do not use that word freely in conversation, yet I have, tapped into the Most powerful force in the universe, that force, is the pure energy of Love.

"Thy will, not mine, be done." is the only way to override this self destructive, Deadly low self worth, subconscious program that seems to run the show against my better judgment. The "will" of a Loving, energy.

SPIRITUAL LIFE IS NOT A THEORY. I HAVE TO LIVE IT, IN ORDER TO SURVIVE. THE GOOD NEWS IS THAT through proper actions, proper living, I can go so much further than mere survival, I can actually thrive in the most positive way, and help many, as I have been, for four, five years now. Heavily involved with Anonymous Alcohol Recovery Program and many recovering addicts as well.

The brutal honesty about my alcoholism and human shortcomings helps others and me tremendously when sharing at these "Program" meetings.

The type of honesty present in these recovery rooms is not common amongst the human race. This "depth" of extreme honesty "is" the catalyst for people to begin to open up to a "better way". This ability to share openly, to communicate Honestly in such a fashion Keeps Me Sober.

I get plenty of thanks about my sharing, from all different kinds of people in recovery. I know that I am helping many.

This allows me to love myself and remain sober as a result. Taping into this Loving process of recovery DAILY is the only reason that I remained sober and am still alive after this second year of sobriety from hell. I have an incredibly strong message of recovery, very passionate, very raw, very human, yet very spiritual.

I used to think that asking for help was pathetic and total weakness. Regardless, here I was, needing help desperately and finally, asking for it. I was granted a big run around to get all of these specifics done in the first three months and still no help was ever released.

The severity of the progression of hard-core chronic alcoholism is unimaginable to someone who, just has not, been there. I have needed help with a little something for over a year now, my very life.

Nicotine addiction must be addressed immediately, via laser. Had quit smoking cigarettes for 60 days up until about March 2008. Lost temper horrifically on day 60 due to unmanaged chemical imbalance, (starvation) and started smoking again. Absolutely horrified by my behavior. I have not been so insanely angry for 12 years, with the exception of being under the influence of Doctor prescribed drugs. Not optional.

When I brought up 'cognitive therapy' to one of the shrinks as a good viable option, he shut me down, with," that's too difficult." I ask him what he means, by too difficult and he replies with, " It's very difficult, on the Dr., and very difficult on the patient." Here, have some drugs…

Doing things in the correct way and "Being" in the positive "real" solution "is imperative".

THE MOST AMAZING INSIGHT IS BY FAR, THAT THIS EXISTANCE WE CALL LIFE IS ALL ABOUT 'BEING' IN THE RIGHT ENERGY… It's not supposed to be about fear, when that is the case, that person (or species) is missing the whole point to his or her lifetime.

That's what this life is for. To have the Choice to consciously tap in to the winning, strongest force there is. "GOODNESS." When helping others re-know or remember this fact, I soar, I fly, I thrive in this human incarnation that I am presently in.

Today, I get very "high" on helping people see the way out. I get REALLY high when I see that someone's lights are coming on. They are catching on to one of the many spiritual principles of the program. Now that's exciting. Some people must come around the rooms of this Anonymous Recovery Program for many years before they stop relapsing as a result of "opening up" and learning a new way.

Some of us are luckier to have this process begin in the first few years or earlier. Many do not make it and just go on to the bitter end and die pathetically.

I BELIEVE MANY are UNABLE to GRASP the PROGRAM BASED ON THE "GOD" WORD. This word instills discomfort judgment and Fear in most, usually at a very sub-conscious level. As a result, the 'God' word scares many people out of the recovery rooms before the chance at the miracle of recovery.

REGARDLESS, WHEN SOMEONE BEGINS TO OPEN UP, TO "WAKE UP" AND THE "LIGHTS" START TO COME ON, THE ENERGY THEY EXUDE IS PHENOMENAL…

Pure goodness. The process is undeniably marvelous… Extremely apparent.

This is part, of how it works. Transference of positive energy between people causing remarkable growth through, Identification first, then elimination of solitude, through dismantling illusion of Separation. Fear and crap begins to melt away, being replaced by much more gratifying productive, life-enhancing emotions and feelings.

After all THAT'S WHAT IT'S ALL ABOUT, REACHING FOR BETTER THOUGHTS, THAT LEAD TO BETTER FEELINGS AND EMOTIONS.

So many people are literally addicted to crappie emotions & feelings as these cause very specific "chemical release" into the blood stream, which people become accustomed to. Eventually, many become addicted to these odd behaviors causing these chemical surges to release through habit, or cravings to re-obtain chemical chaos. Ahh…the comfort zone

And of course, ANY substance WILL alter the brain AND body chemistry, be it drugs, alcohol, nutrition or Led Paint chips.

Emotions and feelings ALSO totally alter Chemistry. Must be in a state of "feeling good". This is very difficult, even impossible when filled with conscious or even sub-conscious fears.

FAMILIARITY… THIS NEED TO ALTER CHEMISTRY IS DIRECTLY RELATED TO LOW VIBRATION, by this I mean low self worth, low or no passion, no direction, no purpose. Loss of connection to SOURCE, spiritually void.

This explains a lot of my past counterproductive behavior along with compounding, fueling self worth problem.

Ultimately we don't need to just "think" our way to getting ourselves better, although I assure you that I have tried for years with the logical side, the side on the "left" of my brain, so much as we need to "do" the things required. Take Action, to have the "right" feelings and emotions. That's the ticket.

LEARNING THAT NEGATIVITY WAS NOTHING MORE THAN MERE HABIT, YET TERMINALLY CRIPPLING TO SOME OF US. As for the rest of us, "being" in this energy kept us stagnant, in survival, miserable rather than thriving.

The human experience is all about "feeling good". Do what it takes to feel good. To raise your "life force" as high as possible in any and all given moments. For this to happen it has to be genuinely "Good Intention" caused by purity in the heart.

When a person is seriously making conscious contact, through Prayer, on a daily basis, with this loving energy, that we actually ARE, amazing things start to happen. We ALL have access to "God

Consciousness", as it is our "right", it IS, Who we are.

It is the void or replacement of fear to an energy of pure love (truth) that allows all humans, to truly thrive and enjoy the FULL precious gift of human life. When truly tapped into Love, we are open to this consciousness and have all the necessary answers.

When I am sharing at these "Program" meetings, at times, I seriously have intentions of speaking of specific matters or subject, and nothing planned comes out. There are times that I am sharing a message from seemingly, elsewhere. I know it sounds like I need some drugs at this point but I assure you I am not deceiving or delusional about any of this

When I don't plan what to speak about, an amazing flow of words come to me, and out of my mouth, come the words that the new person or whoever, needed to hear that day.

There is no doubt that I am only a vessel as some of these "words" are not my own. They come from within, due to being aligned with what I AM, which is love, through compassion. The fact that I am a vessel is o.k. It sure beats wanting to hide in a bottle and die.

RECOVERY ROOMS ARE VAST MIRORS WITH GRADUALLY LESS AND LESS SMOKE SCREEN, used to advance quickly, once the DENIAL lifts.

When others share, many times memories or ideas are triggered which stimulates deep thought. This deep, "drifting off", causes me to miss the message being shared, thwarting my recovery progress.

I learned to not think of what I will be saying as a result. This allows me to actually listen when someone is sharing rather than missing the entire message 'cause I'm SO deep in my head tying to think of something intelligent to say.

As a result, at most, while listening to others share, I may take one to three Key points and firmly place them aside in my mind. This allows me to absorb their message clearly. Everyone and I mean everyone has something of value to share, be it good or bad, teaching what not to do as well as what actually works through negative or positive example. Most examples are highly positive yet there is still plenty of opportunity to learn what not to BE like.

WE ARE ALL FROM THE SAME SOURCE, SO TECHNICALLY AND LITERALLY WE ARE ALL "ONE"....

HOLY MOTHER OF GOD THAT CHANGES EVERYTHING. All the rules have changed, but for the good of all, including myself. I cannot afford to disrespect someone on his or her views or stupidity as I am only hurting myself, knowing that we are of the same source. We, humanity, are ALL one.

WE ALL HAVE THE POWER OF CHOICE; THEREFORE

WE HAVE A LOT MORE POWER TO CREATE, THAN MOST ARE AWARE.

It is my belief that the human mind is a receiver to this "God Consciousness". It is agreed that we only use 4 to 6% of our grey matter. When a person is lined up with what they truly are, Bingo, receiver starts to function. We ALL have access, for it is what we are... This is called channeling, to some, or a strong spiritual connection to others.

Re-knowing this fact, or remembering this, is a gift. We are "co-creators", to a MUCH LARGER extent than most are aware. Whether we like it or not, we create our realities through tapping into either love or fear, individually as well as collectively… Life is a gift when doing the TAO. When simply living in the light, by choice.

IT IS VERY DIFFICULT TO MAKE A WISE CHOICE WHEN FILLED WITH FEAR…WHEN WE BAN "TOGETHER" WITH our truth fearlessly we recall, we wake up. We become pure INTEGRITY… We become what we ARE…

Divine Co-creators.

THE ONLY THING THAT MATTERS TODAY IS DOING THE "RIGHT THING."

"TIME IS BUT AN ILLUSSION." All that matters is that I truly respect & love myself Today, in so doing, I automatically respect others Do not sell myself short today, do not escape my tremendous potential through any forms of fear, such as addiction or violence, or any of the other low frequency ways of being, or more accurately, not being.... Who I truly am.

Do not spend my day doing things I don't want to be doing. (That WAS my life).

DO NOT SPEND MUCH OF MY TIME JUDGING OTHERS as that robs me of quality time spent in the right place… the TAO, (translates as 'The Great Way'.)

The alcoholism that I'd been suffering from for nearly 30 yrs. stemmed from Very Low Self Worth at a sub-conscious level. I believe that this low self worth stems from knowing that I was different, that I was very AWARE (conscious), that I had tremendous, amazing potential yet did nothing significant with these talents, gifts or this lifetime. Pissing it ALL away.

I used my intelligence and passion in all the wrong things. Even though I was convinced that I was afraid of nothing and no one, Fear ran the show for me. How can I be afraid if I truly did not care if I died?

I have later found that the Fear was so high, that, that is why death was so often welcome. Fear ran the show for me. I was oblivious to this fact. Since the age of 13, I had carried a knife in pocket all my life, up until three and a half years ago. I always and I mean Always, had a shank on me. This had to stop in order to raise my frequency, in order to change. Knife in pocket is a fear based, low frequency way of being.

I HAD SQUANDERED MY TALENTS & ABUSED THESE MANY, UNCOMMON GIFTS THROUGHOUT LIFE. The abuse of such amazing abilities had damaged my self-worth so horribly that I hated myself yet did not even know it. I compensated hugely for this self-hatred by being the best at many things. I have a superior work ethic, which was programmed in me by my European father. Perfectionist, quality first, yet super efficient. I was always a very hard worker, all my life.

Even though I did top quality work in the building industry, lot's of fancy custom homes, I had absolutely "no passion for what I was doing for a decade and a half". I was selling myself short and I knew it consciously. There was so much more to me than swinging a hammer and growing the best strains of pot, organically, the world has ever seen, and I knew it. I knew there was way more to life than miserably drinking myself to death but all I needed and I mean needed, was another bottle, could not stop drinking like a mad man.

I could not change; I could not stop drinking to get a grip on life or myself. I was stuck in a circle of shame, guilt and self-loathing. I thought I hated my life, but in fact I hated me, and was convinced otherwise. I blamed everything external for my unhappiness. I avoided crucial personal issues at all cost. The cost being, "my spirit was killed by my own self".

TO DENY MYSELF THE RESPECT OF DEALING WITH SUCH ISSUES LED TO MISERY (SELF-DESTRUCTION), even when having more than all I needed, materialistically. This causes greed, the need to fill the void with all kinds of crap. All the while, being oblivious to the fact that these issues, left un-dealt, cause self-annihilation on so, SO many levels due to living a Lie.

DENIAL, NOW THERE'S A RECIPE FOR A HORRIBLE LIFE, OR IN MY CASE, A DOORMAT FOR DEATHS DOOR. A horrid existence of nothin' changing steady misery. Tapped into fear. Not enjoying life much at all. Throwing it all away...

Thank God for recovery, having been cornered into a Do or Die situation through the "gift" of chronic alcoholism, I have learned How to Respect Myself. Thanks to the Program, Meditation and finally embracing, living the TAO.

JUST AS I WAS OBLIVIOUS TO MY LOW SELF-WORTH PROBLEM AND FEAR RUNNING MY LIFE, interestingly, society is oblivious that we are a mass of people that lives in Fear, which DIRECTLY affects our self worth, and in turn affects the 'consciousness of the entire planet'.

As Individuals, as a Nation or Nations and as a Species.

No wonder there are so many injustices going on in Gov., Medical, Dental, Educational, even the family unit has been 'greatly distorted' through fear over the last few decades. Society is programmed to have low self worth due to over inflation of FEAR and also fabrication, promotion of fear. Fear is the number one reason humanity is so *!#%ed up.

Low-Frequency of Fear Blocks OUR TRUE POTENTIAL.

THE ENTIRE HUMAN SPECIES HAS BEEN KEPT DOWN, PURPOSELY, THROUGH DEVESTATING IGNORANCE CONCERNING "NECESSARY" ENERGETIC BALANCE. This has been a very serious problem, keeping humanity very, very imbalanced.

Between the spirituality prompted by the "Program", proper nutrition, DAILY meditation & a positive purpose or direction in life, finally, I had the recipe necessary for a sane, sober, purposeful life.

I don't like to admit to the fact that I am so fragile, even to myself but until I could accept this, true recovery could not commence. Before acceptance of this fact was DENIAL, what a way to live or not live at all… just exist and suffer.

The fact that I need to be so stringent with these three necessities, is a drag but when respected and fulfilled, I am Totally productive, Positive, Outgoing and Social.

I get very excited to be alive. I had not been excited to be alive since before the age of ten years old. Once any of these three things is faltering, nutrition, positive purpose & direction in life, or spirituality... I fall apart, cannot function, off the deep end... No wonder I was totally hammered for nearly two decades daily, and prior to that, drugged heavily for a decade with extremely heavy boozing every week end.

Excess was the name of the game. I suffered excessively from more-ism. Or maybe more accurately, moron-ism, as I was full of false-pride. Denial about needing help with anything. Obsessive-compulsive across the board due to weak spiritual condition.

My nine lives are up, never mind alcohol and drugs for a moment, I am so lucky to be alive in regards to high speeds on motorcycles, trucks, cars, or whatever has an engine and goes fast for that matter.

Sex has always been top priority, as necessary as alcohol, actually, more so. Sex drive through the roof. Heavy drinking did not affect my sex drive negatively, at all. Sex drive is obviously linked to Bi-Polar.

I had done extensive work on myself and knew the reason for pattern of failed relationships. Hooking up with women who did not respect and love themselves. Two people who do not love themselves, trying to find happiness through a partner… Co-dependency at it's worst.

These relationships where bound to fail, as the most important ingredient was missing. Self-respect. There is no way; one can truly love another without first loving yourself.

I had recognized a pattern. If I could only fix this broken spirited woman, I would surely find happiness. This was impossible, as I had to fix my own spirit in order to find any level of happiness. I had to learn the necessity of being TRUE to MY being.

I have come from a Lifestyle and Addiction that no one should have survived, out of the bowels of Hell.

I know where I come from, cannot afford to forget or I'll go back… Now, you clearly know where I come from.

My education has been granted in my first language, which is French. My parents decided to give me better opportunity through a better education and switched me from French schooling up until grade 8 to English school in grade 9. The change of education system was done for the right reason but backfired horribly for me.

When I was switched to English high school, things got really difficult and scary for me. The English didn't accept me & the majority of the French now treated me like a traitor. I had switched sides, involuntarily. I could no longer tolerate authority, even my parents authority as they had caused this radical 'reality shift' to occur, although unintentionally. Full of hatred and disrespect towards society by then. Left my folks and small town. Moved to the big city at the age of 16.

Grew up fast, or more accurately, didn't grow up at all. Seem to have remained 16 years old in maturity throughout most of life, up until the last few years. Definitely stunted maturity-wise due to imbalance and alcoholism.

I did not complete my grade 10, could no longer handle going to school, dropped out right before completion of grade I have a grade 9 education as a result. Clearly, now, because of chemical imbalance…

I have so much awareness from step work. My perception of humanity had changed drastically in those early teen years. Ages 13, 14, 15.

NON-ACCEPTANCE, (NON-EQUALITY),THE FUN BEGINS.

Who was the big threat to me in all this very uncomfortable change? The rough crowd, the really, really bad kids. I had to quickly adapt and overcome this new reality, I had to become one of them to gain Acceptance. This went against everything I believed in but I had to adapt in order to survive.

To gain acceptance. Huge shift in not "being true to myself" due to FEAR… I became absolutely WILD…

Compromising my values began earlier than grade 9 though. I first began to sell out on my "true values" due to my first addiction, Sugar. I began to steal spare change from my parents in order to fuel sugar addiction, probably age 9 or 10. This sugar addiction was the start of it all.

Stealing, lying to get more candy from the store, eventually daily. Every nickel dime and quarter went to the corner store. Just like a junkie, needing more fix. From a very early age, Addiction had me compromise & damage my self-worth to the gradual progression of "being" way less than human.

I left home at 16 due to confused emotions towards life.I also left home out of respect for & a healthy fear of damaging my father's name. I had become uncontrollably very bad due to chemical imbalance since puberty & huge environmental shift. Hating myself for such anger and bad behavior I compensated in other areas to try to handle being Me. Becoming a health freak started out with cutting out sugar addiction to help control acne problem contributing greatly to loss of acceptance and plummeting self worth.

Being very obsessive I took to healthy eating and certain healthy living habits as an addict would to his addiction. Nutrition, Herbalogy, Iridology, Reiki, Kinesiology, Vibrational Therapy, Radionics, Chi Nai Tsang and many alternative therapies have been a passion throughout.

The study of the human body has been a huge passion since age thirteen.

The study of the human mind and effects of nutrition thereon accelerated at age 27. What it takes to get this biological machine to function in top-notch form through natural therapies and nutrition has always been my passion.

From juicing veggies & fruit to wheat grass and growing my own variety of sprouts to consume. Massive quantities of enzymes and amino acids (life force), in fresh live sprouts. Hemp seed oil, also fish E.F.A.'s in high doses. Un-pasteurized apple cider vinegar. Greens+, Vit. C D E, Minerals. Some specific minerals in higher quantity, these being Calcium and magnesium, but must be absorbable. Micro Algae. Ginseng. St. John's Wart. Milk Thistle juice. A mega dose, athletic support "vitamin pack", daily. Oil of Oregano. Digestive enzymes. Stevia to balance blood sugar. I spent a lot of years learning How, to allow the human body to function AS WELL, as it was intended to.

I led a very very sad existence. All this potential, and just pissing it all away. Not fitting in, not having a clue as to how to go about living. Feeling separated. Separate from humanity, separated from me, separate from my purpose.

WHAT THE HELL IS LIFE ABOUT… HELL?

I not only studied how much alcohol and drugs my body could consume and tolerate, I studied and pursued health through proper nutritional supplementation throughout life. My dad was not into supplements, my mother was but not to the extent that I am. This mega health drive came from mom but I took it to extreme levels after all, I was heavily abusing myself with drugs and alcohol. I had awareness, ability and a need to compensate for such excessive partying. Distilled water with fresh lemon added to cleanse and alkalize.

I've educated myself thoroughly in many fields. Even though I'd been looking for answers, for truth since the beginning, I had no luck in controlling severely volatile temper until the age of 27 or 28 without the "necessity of nutritional therapy." (High doses of specific nutrients.) Without, imbalance so severe,,,, I am LOST, nothing more than a scared animal.

I had already been reading and exposing myself to some of my favorite authors and speakers, Dr. Deepak Chopra, Dr. Wayne Dyer, since my early twenties. A huge passion for Quantum Physics, Nikola Tesla, Raymond Rife, Fred Bell, Dr. Leonard Horrowitzs, Leonardo Davincie, Drunvalo Melchizedek, David Suzuki, Dr. Imoto (the water molecule guy), James Twyman, Louise L. Hay, Oprah, Jim Carrey, Eddie Murphy, Adam Sadler, Mike Myers, to name a few highlights.

I am very passionate about music. I've also had a huge interest and experience at a large variety of botany, banana plants, cacti from seed mushrooms and many other positive fields of interest. All these interests and positive outlets could not sway me from my animalistic tendencies until I found the missing link. NUTRITIONAL THERAPY.

There is no more room for the Low-Frequency of fear or lies, which is the same thing. Feeding the Illusion of separation. A predominantly scared species stuck, moving forward technologically…. Miss using our creative abilities through NEGATIVE TECHNOLOGIES…

"ALL OF US" ARE FROM THIS CONSCIOUS, CREATIVE INTELLIGENT SOURCE. WE ARE EACH A FRAGMENT OF THIS ENERGY IN BODY, or so it seems, yet when the collective-consciousness is lined up with the energy of Love, "we have MORE POWER than ANY one man or woman can imagine"…

JUST IMAGINE…

MY INTERPRETATION OR DEFINITION OF THE HUMAN SPIRIT IS "PASSION". Be it integral spirit or damaged spirit, the human being is either "positively passionate" or "negatively passionate". The solution to a damaged spirit is to learn to have & be compassionate thus getting damaged spirit "To Begin healing." To help another, even in difficult times.

Actually for maximum benefit, help someone out, ESPECIALLY during difficult times. This takes me out of my own "poor me's" and I benefit from the "love" of compassion flowing through me. The more I do this, the more I benefit, and the quicker my spirit heals.

YOU and I and THE NEXT GUY ARE ALL THE SAME BEING, JUST HAVING A MULTITUDE OF EXPERIENCES, ALL AT ONCE. THAT'S what THIS ENERGY THAT WE ARE DOES. Experience life through many possibilities ALL

AT ONCE. The fact that we are "pure energy" is why "taping into love" is necessary as that IS what we are. Anything less and we are in the dark as to what we even are. Sleepin' away, past out, wasting our potential experience, wasting our Positive Power.

Thank goodness humanity's consciousness has been rising drastically for the last 15 or 20 years. Truth will prevail, we will evolve to knowing exactly what we are and that it is already a done deal, energetically. We are in for some Huge changes. "We are truly lucky to be alive in this time period." We are Divine creations capable of incredible things. The frequency of the species goes way up with Truth and genuine love. (Compassion.)

I BELIEVE THIS WILL HAPPEN "GANDHI" STYLE.

This will not change through warring energy, this will happen with unstoppable TRUTH being shared publicly. Truth IS the energy of compassion.

As the frequency of humanity goes up, the corruption will be dismantled, and replaced with people like Denis Kucinich, or maybe Oprah, or someone like Kevin Trudeau. People who are all about truth. Honest, loving spiritual people who are for Real. By the people, for the people. Doing their mission, their job honestly & passionately, as it is the only way to go, the only way to be.

"SOMETHING UNDENIABLY GOOD" IS HAPPENING, OPENING MORE AND MORE PEOPLE UP TO HIGHER CONSCIOUSNESS." Awesome.

Seems to have begun around the same time women started to get equal rights, 15 to 20 years ago, go figure. Do you think this is a coincidence? No way… Beginning of dual energy, Balance.

At the same time, energy sources polluting, destroying the planet. Gang violence on the rise, rampant hard drug addiction, younger generation becoming more and more "lost" due to family unit breakdown caused by 'fear' increase over the last few decades.

Ongoing war, due to severely corrupt Government. Increasing over-stimulation of Hate and fear at an alarming rate. Bad people getting away with murder, through the lies of War on terrorism. Carrying on for thousands and thousands of years. Never learning this crucial step to unlocking the Key to our necessary evolution.

WASTING THE MOST VALUABLE RESOURCE WE HAVE… "GOODNESS".

Stumbling around in the dark as nothing more than scared ignorant animals… Unfortunately so.

PEOPLE FEAR, AND DO NOT APPROVE OF WHAT THE HUMAN SPECIES IS DOING ON SO MANY LEVELS.

To our own inhabitants, our own species, our own selves as well as harshly affecting and destroying many other life forms to the point of extinction on Mother Earth, and of course OUR "one and only" place of residence, planet earth, itself. A species with a really guilty conscience, knowing deep down inside, that we are better than that.

HUMANITY HAS BEEN STUCK IN THE INFANCY STAGE FOR REASONS OF MALE EGO, GREED AND 3rd DIMENSIONAL POWER through "imbalanced energy" running the show. Causing and keeping Ignorance as, the "WAY", of the human species.

IRRESPONSIBLE, SPIRITUAL INFANTS, BUILDING & "MANAGING" NUCLEAR TECHNOLOGIES???

Male energy is only "Half" of the spiritual energy required to have balanced Direction for humanity.

All this stuff about the war never would have made it into this letter where it not for Remembrance Day.

This stuff is not on the for front of my mind at all but had run the subconscious, self-defeating program for years. I'm glad this was written in November, (2008, at 15 months intostarvation), to give me so much more insight on Hatred, which is all 'because of' or caused by DECEPTION. The exact opposite of love, which gives me more understanding on the necessity of Our spiritual evolution. Public Truth.

INTERESTING FACT HERE, "UNION BANKING CORP." OF NEW YORK CITY HAD FUNDED HITLER'S CLIMB TO POWER AS WELL AS MASSIVE MILITARY FUNDING. SUPPORTING, FUNDING, PROVIDING & LAUNDERING OF MASSIVE NAZI WEALTH.

The funding for Hitler's war machine was provided by no other than Prescott Bush. Yes, Grampa "Bush was Director and Vice-President" of "Union banking Corporation" at the time of their astronomical funding for the mass-murder known as the Holocaust.

Union Banking Corporation was eventually exposed for what it was, and shut down for "violations of trading with the enemy act", although quietly. At least shut down under that name. It's still in operation, under another name.

I suspect it is part of the Rockefeller Banking and Business Dynasty… This last sentence is an understatement.

This Corporation not only funded and assisted Hitler, THEY CREATED THE NAZI MOVEMENT and SECOND WORLD WAR, IN ORDER TO BEGIN IMPLEMENTING their "ULTIMATE PLAN" FOR GLOBAL DOMINATION.

This Ultimate Plan was put together with the Profits of the First World War.

This Plan was conceived and implemented 80 years ago. Unfortunately, it is coming together nicely at an alarming rate, because of mass ignorance, due to low-consciousness through acceptance of outrageous lies.

Were it not for Prescott Bush's funding, ultimately for greedy profit, leading to More Power and Control, the beginning and onset of WW2 would not have happened. At least not in the time period that it did 'till some other rich @$$hole seen greedy profit for selfish gain, as a justifiable reason for funding such atrocities.

This is the reason for mass murder of 23 members of my family and COUNTLESS innocent Human Victims at a time in history, not long ago, commonly known as the Holocaust.

AMERICAN BUSINESS PROVIDED FUNDING FOR BOTH SIDES OF CONFLICT IN WW2, Vietnam as well as what is going on NOW and all other war during the past 99 years for reasons of profit and control.

Profit from BOTH sides of manipulated, orchestrated FUNDED conflicts.

John D. Rockefeller Profited $200 Million Dollars, as a result of investing in conflict during the First World War. That's a lot of dough in those days, equal to nearly $2 Trillion today…

A small hand full of International Bankers PROFITED through US participation in conflict of WW1 at nearly $30 Billion Plus Interest, borrowed from the Federal Reserve. Equivalent to, over $$$?????????????? Today.

THE MANIPULATIONS OF ALL MAJOR WORLD EVENTS started in 1910 with the illegal passing or pushing through of the "Federal Reserve Act", begining in 1913...

                                                          

These Bankers own the Federal Reserve, which is a privately owned Bank. As a result they own the world, they own humanity, to do as they wish. As they are…

COLLECTING ILLEGAL FEDERAL INCOME TAX WITH THE BOGUS, "FEDERAL INCOME TAX BILL" made up in 1913 and then implemented as law.            YET IT IS NOT LEGAL

This bill was not ratified, therefore it is NOT legal to collect or steal a quarter of everyone's yearly income, yearly. PERIOD.

Of course I don't speak of a lot of what is in this letter publicly or in meetings or otherwise due to low-consciousness of population in general.

UNFORTUNATELY MANY OTHERS WHO HAVE CONSCIOUS AWARENESS…DO THE SAME, OUT OF FEAR OF HARSH JUDGMENT, RIDICULE OR WORSE.

The $$$ profits for the Second World War, Vietnam as well as all present conflicts are much much more profitable these day$. Astronomical profits for the owners of the Federal Reserve.

HUMAN HISTORY DOES REPEAT ITSELF, HABITUALLY AVOIDING ALL RESPONSIBILITY AS A SPECIES THROUGH PASSING THE BUCK OR THE BLAME. Literally, in the case of Very Profitable modern day War.

THOSE WHO KNOW THE SERIOUSNESS OF CORRUPTION FOR THE MOST PART ARE DEAD AND GONE. Anyone left alive who speaks of such is considered a "nut". Making everyone de-sensitized to the FACTS, to reality. Therefore 'history repeats itself'. Very sad but true.

THERE ARE TWO WAYS OF LOOKING AT OUR PRESENT GOVERNING BODIES:

#1. Either fear the present stark reality, or

#2. Be excited about the amazing changes taking place,

with the consciousness of humanity rising unstoppably through truth and compassion, in other words, the onset of True Equality. (WE Must focus on the Latter).

A "healthy man's" primary drive in life is to protect his wife, children and castle. Also, to provide for such, in other words a man's primary drive is "security" which is "fear" based.

With strictly "male energy" running the show, we have been "Out of energetic balance" causing ongoing, repeat WAR. This is because the male energy IS geared for SECURITY. This form of "devotion" is to "receive" love, in return, (from wife, children, society and self), which is 'fear' driven.

A "healthy woman's" primary drive in life is "compassion" towards the offspring, unconditional, "Love". Both of these realities of human nature must be "synchronized" together in Unison to have spiritual, energetic balance in Responsible Compassionate Decision making towards the true benefit of the ENTIRE SPECIES and GLOBE.

We need the female energy of compassion" to balance this out, to have proper management and use of our clean technologies and "Natural Healing Modalities" made available to all.

IN ORDER TO HAVE GOVERNMENT BUDGETS PROPERLY DIRECTED AND USED, WE NEED "ENERGETIC BALANCE".

The family unit will regain a healthy structure of balanced pride, support and strength through this uplifting new reality.

With only "Half" of the required human polar energy balance, we've been experiencing very low frequencies of mathematical "possibilities" due to energetic imbalance.

The integral secret to "sacred geometry" manifesting constantly in our reality is to be in alignment with "What we actually are". Men and Women of Pure light, pure energy, pure goodness. The TAO.

IT STARTS WITH THE "PERCEPTION" CHANGING COMPLETLY THROUGH BEING LINED UP WITH TRUTH. Which IS Love and Compassion.

Time to wake up. Time to take responsibility for our existence, for our lives, for our purpose. Time to remember WHO and WHAT WE ARE.

NOBODY LIKES TO BE LIED TO… TIME WE WAKE UP AND STOP LYING TO OURSELVES, ON AN INDIVIDUAL, AS WELL AS A GLOBAL SCALE.

We are so much better than that, deep down, we know it. This has kept humanity paralyzed and allowed the repeat of unacceptable ways of dealing with our reality through "not being true to ourselves" due to low-consciousness.

Writing you this letter has also been insurmountably valuable to me and will enable you to better understand the human side, as well as a glimpse at the eternal side of me. It was simply time in the evolution of my journey, which is OUR journey, based on new evidence, or it would not have come out.

The immortal part of me, the "all knowing" part of me that recoils when attempting to accept untruths for WHATEVER reason…

YOU MAY RECOGNIZE THIS PART OF ME, AS WE SHARE THIS CORE SIDE OF OUR VERY ESSENCE, our origin, OUR VERY BEING. These bodies of ours are just a loaner for an opportunity, a chance at accelerated spiritual growth. The clarity of this ringing true in your HEART will reveal where you are, on your journey to waking up.

We, Humanity are not likely alone, in this dimension or universe, yet WE ARE ALL ONE.

Going through stages, learning, NOT to attempt to rescue each other through negative energies, but to help each other WAKE UP TO THE TRUTH.

THERE IS NO LONGER POWER IN "JUDGMENT AND HATRED". FORMERLY USED TO MANIPULATE FEELINGS AND EMOTIONS OF THE MASSES FOR SO-CALLED NATIONAL SUPPORT, false, unreal support.

Totally rigged poles and fancy paperwork stating support. We the people, know how ridiculously WRONG this is and do nothing… cowardly way of enjoying life…. To know it is going on and to know it is SO wrong, keeps us floored. Weak.

Too weak to "Love"… Notice I did not say too weak to fight, the solution is in the "correct" approach. We must go about this with "positive" approach.

Not to kill the old system dead, but to love the new changes into place and remain in a high state of "Being". Happiness, laughter, love, joy, "Truth". With a high state of vibration we find the strength and courage to finally DO the right thing.

End of Dysfunctional Governing…Discontinuation of our "irresponsible nature", leading us into extinction.

JUST AS I HAVE BEEN MY OWN WORST ENEMY THROUGH LIVING A LIE, HUMANITY HAS BEEN IT'S OWN WORST ENEMY THROUGH THE DISTORTIONS OF LIES. We no longer need to be at war with ourselves, time to learn to respect ourselves and get into alignment with THAT which we are.

This letter has also been the most extensive step four, done by me so far. Step four "Made a Searching and Fearless Moral Inventory of Ourselves" This is very therapeutic in regards to explaining where I come from, what it took to change, and which direction I MUST continue to take in order to survive the alcoholic tendency, my oblivious need to self-destruct.

I would normally not disclose such personal information to any, including the Medical Profession but feel it necessary due to the "lack of understanding of chronic alcoholism."

I HAVE PUT MY STEP 1, STEP 2, STEP 3, STEP 4 IN WRITING, AND DONE A VERY THOROUGH STEP 5 IN DISCLOSING THIS INFORMATION. Giving you and me an expansive view, a really good, honest perspective, from a different angle, on my life and the significance of my purpose in recovery as well as "consciously joining", the human species for the last few years.

Through passionately sharing my Experience, Strength and Hope at these Recovery Program meetings, I tap into the strongest force in the universe, COMPASSION, (love), which is the only thing that kept and keeps me sober and alive for the last fourteen months. (Been sober for 36 months by now.) Many call this force God.

Through sharing a powerful message of recovery, this force flows through me. I become a conduit of this amazing force. Resulting in huge benefits for me, this energy of "pure Love" or what much of the planet calls God flows "through me" and "lives through me" when sharing the positive message of recovery and living right. This is crucial in how I got, and remain sober.

This sharing helped me to process and "be conscious" of new wiring taking place, as I went along with my recovery. This group therapy is invaluable in my transformation.

Attempting to evolve like this on my own, in my head, without a sounding board, is impossible as I had tried that route for years and failed miserably. The recommended methods of participation in this "Program" saved my life. No doubt.

I had no love in me, for me, or for my life, before learning these truths in early sobriety. That is why I could not stop drinking a single day, before encountering this Way. Even if my life depended on it, as it did. Without this loving energy consciously in my daily life, sobriety is not possible.

When I am on the right path, this energy "lives" and "experiences life through me", and I go along for the ride graciously yet I benefit hugely in learning to be in the "right" energy. Without, I am an empty shell, hollow to the center of me. EMPTY…

Remembrance Day, November 11th, brings up a lot of ugly emotions for me, even when sober. I have no choice but to feel this pain… It is November 14th as I complete writing this letter. I have experienced "Remembrance Day" sober for the third time in my life just a couple of days ago.

I cannot afford to be at war with anything or anyone as I had huge warring energy towards all and most importantly "towards myself", all my life, since the age of 13. This way of thinking and being has cost me dearly, by wasting most years of my life. This way of "being" has kept me "separate from the entire human race".

My father worked hard his whole life, then it's time to kick back and enjoy life, and he gets sicker than death, right at the onset of retirement. He was diagnosed with three weeks to live, he fought really hard to stay alive, to stay with my mom. He lasted 11 months. I was pissed, the man was totally ripped off. His childhood was "a constant punishment for being born". Even worst than that, his departure of this plain of existence was not something anyone should ever have to go through. Ridiculous law against Euthanasia. He suffered horribly.

One month and a few days before his physical end, I was sitting with Pa (short for Papa) at the motel room trying to help with anything I could, doing the best I could to "be there" for him. I love and respect my father greatly. We were at my brothers wedding ceremony. My bros. decided to marry his woman before Pa passed away so that our father could be present.

He was choking really badly, that day, coughing, struggling badly, suffering, getting very pissed off at his situation. "How many *!#%en' times a day do I have to choke to death before I'm dead?" He never swore normally, unless telling a joke that required swearing…

I did not want to bring this up, but it was time…. I'd been thinking about it from time to time that year. When I was about 14 or 15 years old my dad and I had made a serious pact with each other, that if EVER either of us was in really bad shape, the other one of us would take care of what had to be done.

Now the time had come.

I needed to ask him if he wanted assistance in calling it QUITS, enough is enough ehh… I asked him, I suggested pharmaceuticals, enough to get him to sleep quick, and then something to bring on cardiac arrest during unconsciousness in sleep. I had access to just about anything due to my lifestyle and poor choices. There was silence,*!#% it was silent…

He gave it some serious thought for maybe one-minute… Felt like 100 *!#%in' years. He replied, "No, can't take the risk of what that may do to your mother….if she ever found out for any reason…" I think he wanted to, but was afraid of screwing up MY life in any way over following through with such a decision…. Through out all of this and since I was really young, maybe 14, neither one of us cried. We were both incapable of crying; after all, we were Real men.

I could not cry…He died…I still could not cry. "What the hell is wrong with me? I should be crying, but I can't." I eventually learned to cry, in the shower at first, so that NO one, including myself, would witness this unacceptable release of emotions, streaming out of my eyes, leaking down my face.

One of my bros went through the same scenario with my dad. He had also made a pact with him, long ago.

My father was conceived in a "high state" of fear, in the womb of a French woman. His father immigrated or more accurately, fled from Poland to France at the beginning of WW2. My grandparents changed the spelling of my last Name by one letter. The different spelling was to make the name look less Jewish. We are not Jewish, we are Polish.

I have no disrespect towards the Jews whatsoever.

Nonetheless, 23… Twenty three… of my dads immediate relatives and family, of my family, were brutally murdered, slaughtered like misbehaving animals, some raped, shot, burned alive and of course the gas chambers. Treated and disposed of as human garbage.

THESE INOCENT HARD WORKING PEOPLE, WHERE VICTIMS OF THE MOST UNIMAGINABLE EXPERIMENTS and HUMAN DEVESTATIONS ALLOWABLE BY GOD.            (Just checking, to see if you're still paying attention)…

God had nothing to do with it…

This level of FEAR was not God energy. Just demented spirits, Humans full of fear, playing God through the most Evil acts possible, controlling the minds, actions and realities of the masses through extreme distortions of truth. Pure Fear, complete Lies…

I DID NOT ALWAYS FEEL THAT WAY ABOUT GOD'S ROLE IN THIS, or ANY OTHER HEART WRENCHING REALITY. I did not let this "creative intelligence" off the hook so easily for allowing such atrocities to happen. I had huge resentment towards God for so many ugly things, which are, and can be a part of, OUR human experience.

It is Imperative that the Super Powers, the governing body be connected to the energy of "love" through TRUE equality, bringing in to the balance, the female energy of compassion… or it all repeats itself… But much worse.

GOD DID NOT ALLOW THESE HORRIBLE THINGS TO HAPPEN. PEOPLE DID. Humans are co-creators, which is to say, God creates us, we create the show.

It is necessary to be tapped into the energy of Love instead of Fear in order to advance to the next level as a species. World Peace, truly helping each other out instead of total separation through fear causing the same stupid evil bull $#!+ to keep repeating itself, War. Spiritually void beings running the show.

CREATING "SELF-ANNIHILATION TECHNOLOGIES" AND… USING THEM.

Promoting Lies & Fear to get support for such unacceptable acts of so-called purification or war on terror.

Straight up Evil.

This is not about stopping a War, BUT AN END TO ALL WAR.

We have the intelligence, & the inherent capability to choose the right way, through Public disclosure of Divine Truth…

            WORLD PEACE, IT IS POSSIBLE, PEOPLE.

I use to think that my most creative abilities shined through while drinkin' heavy. Ha…Drinkin' heavy, for me IS Darkness.

TRUE CREATIVE ABILITIES DEFINITELY SHINE THROUGH WHEN 'ONE' IS TRULY TAPPED INTO LOVE (God consciousness through meditation), rather than alcohol, which only added to the illusion…

I am now, so blessed…to be Sober, alive...and AWAKENING…

Something huge is at work here, no doubt. I take very little credit for my recovery, even though it was the hardest thing ever to overcome, being me, riddled with fear. Taking a Real close look at me, thoroughly, was not an "easy" over-night process by any means.

Out of such intense self-examination, I have remembered my childhood passion once again, to passionately inspire those around me to tap in to their talents and gifts in order to inspire others to do the same.

We all have amazing gifts and talents to use & share freely to make our journey what it was intended to be, Blissful enjoyment of life, sharing, caring, helping each other out. Living in the High energy of Passion. Many do not use their gifts in their journey; this leads to very low self-worth.

MANY ARE UNAWARE OF THERE NATURAL TALENTS STEMMING FROM LOW SELF-WORTH, beginning in early childhood passed on generationally, leading them to not even try… What a waste.

IT IS TIME TO GET EXCITED ABOUT LIFE ON A GLOBAL SCALE…

Time to have some fun, time to be alive, to help each other out, to do the only right thing, to WAKE UP and BE REAL.

I have gone to outdoor services for Remembrance Day, out of respect almost every year since my childhood. I would have to deal with a mixture of emotions at such times every year. A mixture of respect for the soldiers who died, pain for my brutally murdered family and COUNTLESS others.

Indescribable hatred towards the human species, for letting such insanity take place, in the first place. How could this happen?????? I would drink extra heavy on Remembrance Day, to deal with such ugly emotions and feelings.

Doing things to people that humans are not supposed to do to other humans, EVER, for ANY reason…

Do I have hatred towards the German race, no, just humanity in general for ever letting things get so bad, so *!#%ing insane as to carry out such inhumane orders, such horrendous atrocities.

RESENTMENT IS NOT A DUBIOUS LUXURY FOR AN ALCOHOLIC IN RECOVERY.

It's not the German race that is responsible for this insanity. It is "the Human Race" that is to blame for being; too gutless to do the "right thing" and not let corruption through fear run the show for everyone. Any Nationality is capable of committing the same atrocities when pumped with enough lies and deception; people are so stupid they will buy into committing horrendous acts in the name of freedom.

RESENTMENT HAS TAKEN MORE LIVES OF ALCOHOLICS, THAN ALCOHOL ITSELF.

I cannot afford to be angry with all concerned, at the universe, or at whatever invisible force is at work here. I have to turn this horrendous, second half of my sober life around. I need to see positive in it and I do, as of recently.

I have benefited tremendously from assisted meditation.

(Thank you Holosync)

During the last few months of meditation, I've been experiencing something marvelous. At the end of meditation, instead of being sore and anxious to get up and move around, I've been at times, experiencing an amazing feeling.

Just remain laying down, experiencing bliss. The "feeling" of high doses of Morphine. Just, "absolutely awesome". I now have the daily practice of meditation in my life, and will always continue to benefit daily. Had my schooling started on time, I may not have grasped the habit and importance of daily meditation. I would not be benefiting from the "amazing results" that I am already getting.

I have incorporated this part of the steps, (step eleven) wholeheartedly into my program of recovery.

Step eleven states, "Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, Praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out."

"All of humanity is an entity in it's self." "We Are All One." When the general consciousness of the species is in the frequency of fear, we are stuck. We are divided or separate.

We cannot move forward or progress. When people are consciously taped into the energy of Truth (love), this wonderful energy allows us to truly be what we are. Truly Divine creations… Absolutely amazing beings. Built and designed to love, to be of assistance to one another, for we are all ONE….

EVERY BODIES DIFFERENT but WE'RE 'ALL' THE SAME

When the greater majority of humans are tapped in to Truth, the "Kingdom of God" IS everywhere, not just "Within". WE HAVE BEEN INSTRUCTED BY J.C. TO LOOK "WITHIN" FOR THIS KINGDOM, NOT IN A CHURCH, THROUGH DISTORTED FEARS OF MORTAL MEN, BUT TO "SEEK WITHIN"…

J.C. never ever excluded the human species coming from the same source as he. This was distorted by the "power structure" to continue to promote separation, through ignorance of the imperative necessity of true EQUALITY, keeping the masses ignorant, easy to control with fictitious and real fear.

CONTROL THROUGH SEPERATION, Keeping God at a distance rather than where God is, WITHIN THE PEOPLE.

Any information I share pertaining to J.C. has nothing to do with the "Anonymous Recovery Program."

This is personal information that I chose to share for the benefit of ALL. These insights are the result of proper prayer and MEDITATION.

THIS "CREATIVE INTELLIGENCE" IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THE CREATION OF ALL…IT IS NOT SEPARATE FROM US; it IS us and lives through each of us, when aligned with the right energy. Love, Compassion, Truth….

You, me, J.C., Chris Angel, and everybody else, that's EVERYONE. Also all the objects and material in existence all come from this same "source". ALL OF IT, ALL OF US.

J.C. understood the "law of attraction", a couple thousand years before the rest of the world would come to know "these laws of physics" as "Quantum Physics"

Since he was aware of this wonderful "positive" way of "Being", also realizing that "we are all one", he shared this knowledge with ALL. What an odd fellow, "talking" and "sharing" about all this "Peace, love and Equality" stuff. People were actually listening, and catching on to the "secret truth"(compassion through equality), so they murdered him. "they", being the Governing Body at the time.

ALL J.C. COULD DO, THE REST OF US CAN LEARN TO DO AND MORE. THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT HE WAS TEACHING US. All that is required is True devotion to Compassion, the energy of Love… Being Tapped In…

He was in human form, just like us. No different except in the fact that he had Divine clarity. He knew the importance of Being in the right energy. He prayed properly, focusing on positive out come as though it already is manifested rather than removal of negative, and he meditated regularly. (To focus on the Removal of negative situation is Fear-Based, causing more negatives to come crashing in.)

His frequency was very much higher than the population's low-energy way of being. He was not living in "fear" but consciously "tapped in" to the higher energy of Love. That's where the miraculous abilities come into "BEING".

Very high frequency from being consciously taped in to love. Had humanity been able to take these tips, as seriously as they where delivered and intended, history would have been recorded very differently and would have unfolded in a "Great Way", very differently.

It is difficult, actually, IMPOSSIBLE to keep the power, the control over the masses without the "fear" factor, be it a small scenario or a planetary scale.

Through learning to think properly, the right emotions and Integral feelings are born out of compassion. By helping others, (Compassion=STEP 3).

Those in charge at the time saw this message as a total threat, (especially the equality part) to their mortal power and self-centered greed. Human Ego…

HE DID NOT DIE FOR OUR SINS.

Another OBVIOUS, yet devastatingly HUGE LIE….

HE WAS MURDERED.

He died BECAUSE of OUR GOVERNING sins.

Honest, healthy woman would have been half of the political structure, adding to the lacking balance, the female energy, COMPASSION. This lack of balance has caused ongoing war because of strictly male energy running the show. Male energy for so-called security, which is "warring" energy.

THIS MESSAGE HAS BEEN DISTORTED TO THE POINT OF COMPLETE SPIRITUAL STAGNATION OF THE SPECIES WE BELONG TO… Never changing.

No progress, stupidity goes on always repeating it's self.

A bunch of fearful animals, all because of the mortal ego of a handful of spiritually void men…addicted to "Power" through "Wealth" and "Control" at the expense of everyone and everything, including the very existence of the species and Planet… To have balance, humanity needs compassion on board the governing bodies. Healthy spiritual women along with healthy spiritual men.

The reason for the murder of 23 members of my family and COUNTLESS innocent victims, known as the Holocaust.

My brothers and I decided to change our name back to it's original spelling about eight years ago out of respect for my father and our true heritage. When fear is high enough, people will and do ridiculous, unacceptable things. This kind of evil, murdering insanity is still going on to this day with many people too ignorant, to know the difference, supporting Bush.

"THE SAME EXACT FAMILIES…SAME WEALTH, SAME AGENDA HAS BEEN RESPONSIBLE FOR PROMOTION OF MASS ACCEPTANCE OF MISS-MANAGEMENT OF TECHNOLOGIES and PATHETICALLY DAMAGING ECONOMIC DRIVE, LEADING HUMANITY TOWARDS EXTINCTION…"

Hitler, called his plan "ONE WORLD ORDER", Bush senior called his same plan "NEW WORLD ORDER".

Same *!#%in' plan. One army, one monetary system, one set of rules directing the entire globe. Good theory if the Governing Body is tapped into Love, Goodness, Honesty…

HORRIBLE REALITY IF THIS GOVERNING BODY IS NOT.

These are FACTS… not Theories, but Facts.

THE SAME PEOPLE, THE VERY SAME WEALTHY LOWLIFE'S WHO HAD FUNDED THE "3rd REICH" ARE NOW STILL FUNDING THE PRESENT MOMENTUM OF THE 'Bush regime' OR 'world economy', WHATEVER YOU WANT TO CALL IT, DRUGGING THE MASSES AS THEY PROCEED.

Over-prescribing medication, to all aspects of society. The sad part is that people are conditioned to ACCEPT this mass drugging of the population as a good thing due to ignorance.

A huge part of Adolph's plan for creating the perfect race had to do with mass medication of the populace in order to minimize human emotions, making it easier to control and manipulate, therefore creating easy submission. "The perfect Race"… Prescott Bush "Created" the Nazi movement.

The "Reich" is alive and running the show; make no mistake, no matter what they choose to call themselves now…

WHY DO YOU THINK… that the "HUMAN SPECIES IS CAPABLE OF MAGNIFICENCE" yet, "NOT DOING SO"?

ACCEPTING MASSIVE CORRUPTION AS THE ONLY WAY?

SAME OLD TACTIC, FEAR…

These are facts not conspiracy theories, but facts.

Take a look around. We have enough Sunlight, Wind and Water on this planet to supply "clean" free energy to the entire species. What's with this "Oil" industry anyways? Of course there is no profit$$$ in free energy.

THE SHAREHOLDERS OF OIL AND CHEMICLES, (pharmaceutical drugs) WOULD NOT FAIR OUT SO WELL WITH PROPER METHODS AND TECHNOLOGIES that are in fact "FACT "FOR THE HIGHEST GOOD OF ALL".

These same families, heavily invested in such "negative technology" industries have been playing God with the Human species for more than just the last century. People just don't want to be aware of such truth; they just don't want to believe they are part of such a misdirected, dishonest spineless species.

GOING INTO FOREIGN COUNTRIES AND DOING AS THEY PLEASE, KILLING EVERYONE IN SIGHT. It's all about profit through obsolete, filthy, polluting energy source of OIL and population control through the best weapon of all, to keep humanity stagnant & paralyzed. FEAR FEAR FEAR.

Not about fighting terrorists or any good or truth concerning the Human Species. Certainly not about Human rights.

The average person is so incredibility naïve and ignorant due to "Low-Consciousness."

The news is delivered and fabricated for control of the subconscious mind through fear. Even with all this wonderful technology (much of it being put to horrible miss-use) of the past 100 years, the most powerful weapon is still FEAR.

THE LOSS OF MOMENTUM OF FEAR THROUGH RELIGION FOR THE MASSES over the last 30 years HAS BEEN REPLACED VERY SUCCESSFULLY WITH THE NEWS STATIONS on TV.

The "Fear Campaign" has adopted the Television over Religion as the primary tool or method to promote the fear necessary to keep the human spirit squashed, beaten down, stuck in submission. The News media is fully manipulated…especially the North American News.

COMPLETE LOSS OF HUMAN RIGHTS PUSHED THROUGH WITH ILLEGAL "PATRIOT ACT", shortly after the Inside Job September 11th fabricated, terrorist attack.

The "Patriot Act" is a total loss of human rights for every single person in America, or North America for that matter.         In case anyone of us is a terrorist???

The Patriot Act is not about "terrorists" but about successfully "destroying our civil liberties."

This Patriot Act allows the Governing Body to invade your home, search and seize, even detain you indefinitely without a warrant, even torture legally, without any charges laid or revealed to you or anyone else, with no access to a lawyer…

In case you are a terrorist? Any citizen it chooses to do so with, without proof or reasonable and probable cause, having already enabled the onset of ABSOLUTE DICTATORSHIP.

Hitler had pulled the same stunt with the passing of "Enabling Act" which is the IDENTICAL Act, only written in German.

Removal of ALL rights from the German people before the onset of WW2. This completely eradicated the German peoples Constitution, destroying their rights and liberties allowing the unfolding of the ULTIMATE PLAN.

ONE WORLD GOVERNMENT through WAR.

SPIRITUALITY UNITES, and RELIGION DIVIDES AND SEPARATES, in the sense of inclusion of some and exclusion of others.

This separation between people is easy to "buy into" when vibrating at a low frequency, as humanity has been before the onset of TRUE equality. Negative feelings and emotions leads to being in a spiritual comma. Elevated frequency of human being creates AWARENESS.

The fact that we all have an individual body added to the illusion of separation. Add FEAR to the mix and we strongly buy into the illusion of separation, BIG TIME. We are primarily beings of the same pure energy. There is no separation of energy between human beings.

PEOPLE WILL FOLLOW AND EVEN PARTICIPATE IN EVIL AGENDA'S THROUGH TOTAL MANIPULATIONS OF TRUTH, WHICH OF COURSE ARE LIES. This has been the way of the human species for far too long. LIES LIES, LIES.

These terrorists have been running the show for many years now, and presently, right from the Oval office.

My father hardly ever spoke of his upbringing or his past for that matter. He did not instill Truth purposely to destroy me.

As a young kid I had combed my hair to the side, put on a short fake mustache and stuck my arm straight up & forward in salute, German style as a joke. I often imitated famous people for fun to entertain others and myself. I just loved to make people laugh. My father did not find any humor in this AT ALL. He broke the mystery of his childhood. He was very secretive about his childhood before and since then.

He abruptly informed me, educated me on why this particular part, in "role playing" was NOT acceptable in our house or anywhere else on the planet for that matter.

THIS FACT OF "HUMAN BEHAVIOUR" OR "HUMAN HISTORY" WAS SHARED WITH ME. Entire countries being exterminated in this diseased demented evil dimension.

It was the most demented reality, a time when people where no longer people, nothing more than scarred animals. Whether on the giving, or receiving end of the insanity.

Absolutely not a time in history to be human. What was going on was not a human frequency. Pure evil, pure fear. I now understood why he would not speak of his past. His childhood was just TOTALLY !#*%ed.

I used to think he was kind of insensitive and selfish to not share such information with any of us. The man was practically John Wayne, I thought he was just too tough to speak of such weak petty stuff as childhood. I now understood.

It was just too horrifically painful for him to talk about. For the longest time, I though he never had a childhood. In my eyes he was always a grown up. There WERE NO GOOD TIMES to speak of in the first 15 years of His life. I now know, he really DID NOT HAVE a childhood.

He was very respected by all. Hardly ever spoke but when he did, everyone listened. His voice was powerful, very very deep, like Johnny Cash. He spoke eight different languages, making his accent impossible to place. His body language and way of being, commanded respect. He never raised his voice, ever. He just didn't have to.

My mom was and still is a very inspiring woman. Very positive, upbeat woman, high energy. She was an aggressive businesswoman yet did a lot of good things.

Starting the production of supplies for the local mines with local woman who were from a "hard past". Helping them get back into the work force, have income and get back into life. She'd start things up and get people involved, get things running smoothly then move on to the next project. Very very spiritual being. An amazing woman.

Even though I had this amazing upbringing, I cannot deny the fact that my father's intense fear of the past, one day, repeating itself inevitably, based on the track record of Human History, was unintentionally transferred onto me.

Much of this stuff was NOT on the forefront of my mind at all, but was running the "show" sub-consciously. As is the case with many people who suffer from addiction as well as those who squander there life & existence. All this crap is finally being released in a productive, beneficial way through Meditation & the Worldly Therapeutic Value of writing this letter.

I have much to offer humanity in terms of passion for recovery. Recovery of active addiction and most importantly, recovery from the prevalent human condition. TOTAL SEPARATION THROUGH LIES, FEAR.

HUGE NEW PASSION FOR LIFE, SHARING MESSAGE OF HOPE AND HOW I HAVE TURNED MYSELF AROUND 180 DEGREES, how I beat it, through the remarkable energy of compassion. I had to become willing to accept some uncomfortable truths about me, I learned to think differently as a result of this "Program" which has led to "different actions" and in turn, "a whole new reality."

I share that I needed to come to terms with the fact that I have not loved myself, all my life. I knew how to be loved by my parents and brothers, and kinda how to love them back but was clueless as to loving myself as an "option" in life. Fear was the underlying program fueling my alcoholism and HIGHLY INSANE behavior or pointless existence… Whatever you want to call it… I share how I learned to start to love myself, to truly begin to respect myself. I share all of this with new people and old in recovery rooms.

I have a flair for communicating my passions, (sharing my spirit), especially when balanced through proper nutrition. Because of my "street smarts" and past history, I have a way of communicating with the newcomers, in laymen's terms, the simplicity of heavy concepts. Thus opening them up to the possibility of this "Program" working for them also. Because of my history and ability to deliver the message in such a way, if I can do it, so can they, if they do the work required. They see, that there IS hope, for them too...

This gift keeps me on track with sobriety; this ability allows me to finally LIVE instead of directing my passion into dying. This continues to save my life...daily. I am SO blessed that sobriety was not possible before this Program as it prompted me to "begin to understand the tremendous value and

necessity of thinking properly and doing things right."

The benefits of assisted meditation are astounding, this meditation has allowed me to grow spiritually, to have remarkable insights, to "see the Big Picture here" and begin enjoying life through doing the TAO. Living in the light, by choice, Allowing love to save me from my fearful self.

Many cannot, handle this level of honesty in sharing some of the places my mind and heart venture to Today… Due to the comfortable 'familiarity' of the illusion, or lies… Can you?

Yet, I am sure that "Many" can relate to the way I feel about a lot of things and are just "unable" to express these feelings due to being "turned off" (intimidated),programmed through fear to not be True to ourselves, preventing us from stepping up to the plate.

WE HAVE ACCEPTED 'THIS' MISS-MANAGEMENT OF HUMAN RESOURCES FOR MANY GENERATIONS, MANY LIFETIMES. All of OUR human lifetimes…

PRIMARILY, BECAUSE WE HAVE BEEN BORN INTO THIS "State of Acceptance",,, Bondage.

"This" corrupt system in place "seems" to Big and Too Corrupt to overcome or Do anything about. So through fear, we do nothing, and let it continue. Deep down we know there "Must Be a Better Way"…

There is. The Right Way. The true way of the true human spirit. Truth, Equality.

THIS IS NOT THE RESPONSIBILITY OF FUTURE GENERATIONS. Or SOME OTHER SPECIES,TO CLEAN UP. THIS IS OUR MESS, OUR RESPONSIBILTY NOW, before we exterminate our own selves. Technology is too advanced to be abusing what we Do with our Creative Abilities to the extreme extent that we are.

WHAT WE DO NOW, ECHOES THROUGH ETERNITY. Either way…

Action or Non-Action…Courage or Powerlessness.

"Now",… IS everything…

Many will come around, but we must be aware of our old fear based way. As we have always been afraid of what is not understood as a species and attacked it to death, out of shear ignorance and fear.

J.F.K., John Lennon, J.C., Ab Lincoln and Lady Dianna and Martin Luther King were all murdered for the same reason, to silence the Truth. These enlightened intelligent people were advocates of Truth, raising the frequency of numerous people. Raising the "consciousness" of Earth.

It is time for the masses to wake up. This can easily be accomplished with the help of a few Influential Professionals Brave enough to admit their own truth, on such matters.

CAUSING A CHAIN REACTION OF THE HIGHEST MAGNITUDE OF FREQUENCY, WORLDWIDE.

ABSOLUTE BLISS. Believe me, people are So ready for the benefits of conscious truth.

Pass this alcoholic's Disclosure docket around anonymously.

THIS WILL ALSO HELP MANY PROFESSIONALS UNDERSTAND THE MECHANICS OF ALCOHOLISM AND THE PATHETIC CONDITION OF "systems in place", HENSE, THE "HUMAN RACE." As well as the environmental conditions left spiraling down for future generations of humans to Try to survive in. We are not meant to merely survive, we are here to thrive, to evolve, to Love… Clearly, we have been living in so much fear that we have been too scared to DO the right thing.

JUST IMAGINE, GOOD STUFF ON THE NEWS STATIONS REGULARLY, INSTEAD OF STEADY BOMBARDMENT OF NEGATIVITY, feeding the LIE of separation through fear.

ADDICTION WILL DROP DRASTICALLY FROM THE FACE OF THE EARTH, (from humanity), AS A RESULT.

It is time. Technology is Way too advanced to LET this happen again.

Some will be 'too scared' to risk compromising their career by speaking Their Truth. They will come around though, through the strength & Courage of what the rest of us must face, "For the Highest Good of ALL"...

"CONSCIOUS PEOPLE" WON'T LET FEAR KEEP THEM FROM DOING WHAT THEY KNOW IS RIGHT….TRUTH

"Beginning to live with purpose"…on a worldly scale…

This news is ready to come out to the masses.

THIS DOMINO EFFECT WILL "CHANGE THE WORLD QUICKLY" in prompting people to take a real good look at their "True values".

Not the values of ego, (scared mortality) but the values of the eternal soul. HONESTY COMPASSION ABUNDANCE CLARITY WILLINGNESS TRUTH PLAYFULLNES GENEROSITY HUMILITY GRATITUDE OPENESS RESPECT FORGIVENESS PEACEFULNESS KINDNESS ACCEPTANCE CONSIDERATION LOVE HELPFULNESS JOYFULNESS and our most precious gift of all               "CREATIVITY".                                        INTEGRITY

The time has come, It is NOW… It is no longer time to be at war with war. When we fight Any issue, even a horrifically Bad situation, with aggression , with aggressive emotion, we are not going about it in the correct way. Through fighting a negative with negative energy, we attract more of exactly what we are against.

The universe sends us more of what we are feeling in our heart. Hatred for the hateful "whatever" thing that's eating us.

The Law of Attraction states: Good thinking leads to great feelings and emotions=Great reality through, Compassion, (Loving intention.) Of course the opposite is also true…

We have been devoured by ignorance of our True nature. Fear is the exact opposite of Love. It is not God that sends us all this misfortune it is "us". We keep requesting it through the vibration, the frequency of Fear.

We are co-creators, EACH AND EVERYONE OF US. We need to re-know this, to remember our place of birth on a global scale.

THERE IS NO GOD SEPARATE FROM US, THAT IS THE BIG LIE. We are all DWELLINGS of god, (when in alignment with proper energy), for we are all from this "God" source. God lives through humanity…

This CREATIVE INTELLIGENCE consists of two things,

#1     PURE CONSCIOUSNESS, and

#2     MANIFESTATION, (creation of ALL)

BIRTHING everything and everyone into existence along with consciousness for those who SEEK, WITHIN…

God is neither male nor female. God is pure energy with both 'consciousness' and 'creative manifestation', including both Male and Female attributes, (energies).

We All have God given abilities when tapped into the right energy, Compassion. We are all creators of our reality. This has been kept from us intentionally.

WHEN THIS IS UNDERSTOOD ON A GLOBAL SCALE, OUR PLANETARY REALITY GOES FROM WHAT IT IS, Count down to extinction, TO WHAT WE TRULY ARE.

Pure energy capable of accepting and respecting OUR Divinity, in human form.

We no longer have to Accept the Unacceptable.

It all had to happen in order for us to Wake Up. Although someone or something IS orchestrating many series of events leading to this blessed AWAKENING. I believe that whoever is orchestrating such marvel is born out of the same energy we are. This or more accurately, these beings helping us to wake up are not god. We all are, together.

I believe God itself is an intelligent creative "formless" pure energy, capable of manifesting into any and ALL form.

It (God), did not make a single solitary form, separate from the rest of creation, in order to have a 'single, solitary body' to 'dwell in', in order to call itself GOD, the Grand Poobaah… THAT conception comes from the mind of man.

THIS THING CALLED GOD MANIFESTS ITSELF INTO ALL THAT IS CREATED, including planet Earth itself AND elsewhere, everywhere,…. PERIOD.

God dwells in ALL of creation, every (seemingly) single "one" of us is a dwelling for Source to manifest through, when in alignment. Tapped in to correct energy, compassion.

It is imperative that creations be consciously moving, dancing through this life in the correct energies. "As above, so below." If you were to get into this deeply, you will find that love and fear are opposites, yet one in the same. Just magnets for the same energies to come flooding in.

We know have a Choice to make. This disclosure was approached with a certain positive intended outcome… The Opportunity that has transpired in the writing of it is Divine Intervention, no doubt.

Of course, I realize the importance of being in the moment. Being in the NOW as a result of this "Anonymous Recovery Program". It's ok to go to the future or the past intellectually, like the fictitious character, Spock, after all I do need to be responsible for my utility bills and such forth, but I must consciously keep my "Heart in today" or else I spend all my Life, (time) spinning my tires, getting nowhere.

Wasting the precious gift of life. Life is TODAY, not 10 years ago, not 3, 5, or 10 years ahead, into the future, TODAY.

There is always something "good" in the day.

THE ILLUSIONARY PAST OR FUTURE IS EITHER A DESTRUCTIVE OR PRODUCTIVE TOOL TO MY SPIRITUAL GROWTH. All that is real is, or of any "Real" importance is "Today". With proper living, JUST FOR TODAY, I remain true to myself, and DO THE RIGHT THING.

In so doing I develop more and more self-respect, more Faith, more ability to do the right thing. I just love it, 'cause I am waking up…to realizing WHO I AM….

Once this "just for today" thing is locked into conscious thinking, I automatically have one of the biggest answers. I have the right attitude towards my entire life, Today, which is all I got for time. Today. Happening in 24-hour increments but, always, right now.

Any time I stop and think about it, it IS always today. This simple yet invaluable gem of a tool makes my life SO SO much easier. Just for today, behave but have fun. Enjoy this day it is a gift.

With this realization, I know that all my tomorrows will be as good or better than today as I am growing continuously. Every time I wake up, that's really the only thing I Must Remember. "Live life today."

As long as I keep doing what needs to be done "Daily" to remember this fact, I will continue to be on my way, loving life Today.

Presently in physical human form, proper nutrition allows me to "Really" fully tap into this gem of a tool as all negativity slips away with proper ingredients. Compassion, Nutrition and POSITIVE passionate purpose…

Every Time I wake up, it is "Today". I just don't reach for the first drink "Today". Once this concept is keyed into place, the right side of the brain, this new programming flows to the "Heart", (tapped into higher self, purity), then, the alcoholic is in 'recovery' instead of white knuckling sobriety, IN hell. (Abstinence without spirituality or positive purpose.)

The left side of the alcoholic brain cannot understand this as it can justify having a drink, at times for any reason.

When this concept moves truly into the heart there are no more cravings. Just For Today, 'be' in alignment with THAT WHICH I AM. Be Real, be sincere, be happy, be joyous, be free, be of service to others in the most selfless way, BE in a state of INTEGRITY.

Reach for good feeling thoughts, and all the rest is history. If I don't pick up the first drink, the 50th or 80th drink does not happen, the whole insane cycle of killing my spirit, killing myself on so many levels, does not come back to me in the form of hopeless wasted reality. Escaping my responsibility, my purpose, to live, to love, through imminent death, is no longer the way.

It took me over a year and a half to understand this simple fact. So simple that a 5 year old kid could understand, but me, an alcoholic in denial at the time could not understand the Rocket Science of "Just For Today" or "One day at a time" for quite some time…

DENIAL took some time to melt away, but it did, thanks to the desperation of my progressive disease of addiction or Alcoholism, which landed me in these "Recovery" rooms, repeatedly. Allowing me to have access to the ONLY solution for a hard-core chronic alcoholic of my type.

I REALLY FELT LIKE I DID NOT BELONG IN THIS "ANONYMOUS RECOVERY PROGRAM", AT ALL. Way too smart for this corny, intangible solution. A God of my understanding? Just the "word" God almost took my life.

That three letter word chased me out of the "rooms" many times. I just can't, pray to the Tooth fairy or Easter Bunny or God or whoever, whatever, as a logical approach to my dilemma… Way, way too stuck in judgment. Even sober, my thinking was still impaired, (through fear) over a word, GOD. Looking at all the differences instead of the similarities, as we are all ONE.

I did not want to belong, God damn it, I wanted to drink. Their solution was complete abstinence, for a single day. (Just for today, or One day at a time.) I did not like THEIR solution to MY drinking problem… AT ALL.

I just needed to dry out for a while and then re-introduce alcohol to ###### and be more reasonable about my drinking, (or so I thought) HA, ha ha.

What a joke. Every real alcoholic's fantasy. To drink and enjoy alcohol once again but reasonably and safely.

I had been to a dozen of these "Anonymous Program" meetings over 10 years ago, and thought "this is ridiculous and below-me" because of the G. O. D. word. I thought these people weak and pathetic to rely on such intangible non-sense as the God stuff.

Although a real part of me wanted to pursue my spirituality over the years, once I got my life together, was no longer a piss tank, I would go for it. I would get spiritual, but without "God". The Catholic LIES horrifically distorted the word God for me. This god stuff did not ring true to me, as I got wise to the "respect through fear" thing that they so heavily promote.

TRUE RESPECT 'ONLY' COMES AND GOES FROM LOVE.

I had a huge problem. Totally hung-up, missing the "Whole Picture" based on a three letter word,

"G O D".

This was apparent to me at a very young age. The word God instilled extreme "Hatred" which IS "Fear." Due to the context and abuse of the God word instilled upon me and the rest of humanity this and all other human lifetimes in this dimension. (For most, at a very sub-conscious level.)

THE TRUTH IS THAT MY SELF-WORTH WAS SO DAMAGED, BY BEING ORIGINALLY EDUCATED OR MISINFORMED, ABOUT A GOD OF JUDGEMENT that I was incapable of letting any "Good Higher Power" be a part of me at all. I just did not deserve goodness as I had abused myself so thoroughly over this lifetime.

This subconscious belief had nearly killed me as I was being handed the solution freely yet was incapable of such grace in my realm of overwhelming fear until I would eventually open my mind. This in turn, opened my heart through "Infusion Of Truth", (compassion).

The love, the high positive energy in the program rooms eventually started melting away the crap that was blocking me from my true self. These sober alcoholics had hope and faith in me when I had none in myself. They kept telling me to "keep coming back" no matter how drunken' hammered I was at SO so many meetings in the first couple years of my attendance.

Not many people show up at meetings hammered, not many at all. Most have enough respect to attend sober. I did not.

The fact is, that I was so ridiculously hopeless; I could not sober up at all for even a meeting at the beginning, for a long time. Always drunk, just could not stop drinking. PERIOD. Totally chronic.

Their high spiritual energy and "positive message of truth" began to "heal the incurable". Just for a day. ONE DAY AT A TIME. Just today. The compassion started to brake down my walls of separation. I began to learn how to truly listen.

INVALUABLE TOOL IN LIFE

"YOU HOLD THE KEY" TO ALLOWING THIS PROCESS TO CONTINUE QUICKLY. TO BEGIN "NOW", A GLOBAL SURGE OF TRUTH. Pass the jug around, give everyone a shot. Forward this letter to spiritually evolved professionals, or anyone with the capacity to understand that, "There Is a Better Way". They in turn will forward it to "elevated people" of courage and grace, so that "WE" can continue this wonderful process. It is unstoppable, it is time. IT IS NOW.

THESE TRUTHS SHARED WILL BECOME LIFE ENHANCING TO ALL. Freedom of the human spirit, Freedom from bondage. Hope you are "honest enough with yourself" to support "Our Truth" in this present lifetime.

THE EGO OF HUMANITY MUST BE SWAYED, ENDING THE CONCEPT OF HATE, SEPERATION, THROUGH RESTORATION OF ENERGETIC BALANCE.

Again, I would like to take the time to emphasize the fact that I am not trying to insult or demean any one personally or directly in any way. I apologize for the explicit parts, (much has been edited), the very human side as well as the negative parts of this letter but feel it necessary to convey honestly what the psychology of an alcoholic IS and how this "horribly misunderstood disease" of Denial affected me so harshly.

Before sobering up I thought I had no issues at all, HA… just drinking way too much, and dying because of it.

Apparently my head was stuck up my @$$ for a long long time.

Absolutely in the dark about why I drank so ridiculously heavy, all the time. Nothing less than denial of mental illness, this severe addiction caused by imbalance from simple Nutritional deficiency and DENIAL of fear based "Beliefs".

LIVING A LIE. Anger is nothing but tremendous suffering. As you can see in this disclosure, THERE ARE A LOT OF PARALLELS BETWEEN THE ALCOHOLIC, the UNIVERSE and THE POOR DIRECTION OF HUMANITY.

THE DISEASE OF ALCOHOLISM AND THE DENIAL OF THE HUMAN SPECIES ARE SYNONYMOUS. The disease of alcoholism is a lot like HUMANITY has been. Wasted.

What is the definition of insanity? "Repeating the same behavior over and over again, expecting different results."

or perhaps "Denial that something is seriously wrong"?

BOTH, THE ALCOHOLIC AND THE WHOLE OF HUMANITY SUFFER FROM BEING "SPIRITUALLY ILL" THROUGH DENIAL. Once the denial lifts, spiritual growth is NOW in progress. This inevitability is because OUR "True Nature" takes over with the removal of illusion. The removal of lies, of any kind, causes us to grow in the right direction very quickly. It is necessary that the alcoholic do what needs to be done, TODAY, in order to remain spiritually fit. In order to remain sober.

IT IS TIME FOR "HUMANITY TO BE OF SOBER AND SOUND MIND IN CO-CREATING THROUGH HEALTHY CHOICES AND DECISIONS". Our Destiny

The remedy for the "Spiritual Deficiency of Humanity" is to "consciously be in a flowing state of Compassion, Today"

by learning to TRULY give a $#!+, then, step up to the plate, and TAKE ACTION.

I have learned that my anger stemmed from tremendous suffering of my own from the suffering going on "out there".

TO NOT SEEK WITHIN, LEAVES EVERYONE WITHOUT. With the inevitable pain of illusion, through separation…

HELL ON EARTH.

The fear and disgust of everyone wandering around through life in the dark, people turning a blind eye to so many unacceptable injustices drove me to the point of self-annihilation. So glad those chapters are done. So relieved that neither I, nor Humanity have to live or perish that way.

"AWARENESS IS A THING OF EXQUISITE BEAUTY." Rearrangement and disposal was so, so necessary. Disposal of self-defeating beliefs and adoption of TRUTH. Without it none of the negatives change, they just compound in a seemingly helpless fashion.

WE NO LONGER HAVE TO "ACCEPT" OR "ALLOW" IMBALANCED GOVERNING BODIES TO CONTINUE TO KEEP LEADING US INTO EXTINCTION.

We are no longer helpless…and hopeless… Truth

We are no longer, of no purpose… Truth

EVERYTHING AND ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE… GOOD AND BAD.

Realities and things "come to be" through energetic ATTRACTION. Through "fear" or "compassion".

That's HOW "things" and "realities" come to be.

I use to be a very knowledgeable man, experienced at many things, yet was totally "Oblivious to my purpose on earth". Fumbling around aimlessly in the dark. I am going in the right direction in every way possible for many Years now. We are creatures of duality. This is a fact. Today, I can choose my path WISELY. I am so glad that I have a choice today.

THIS IS ACCOMPLISHED THROUGH ALLOWING "YOURSELF" TO BE A "CONDUIT" OF THIS VERY REAL ENERGY and, by eventually "becoming" aware that You are PART of IT, and NOT, in fact SEPERATE from IT.

Between the benefits of daily meditation and positive message and energy of DAILY "Anonymous Recovery Program" meetings, I have created many new neuropaths. I no longer have to go down the same path, over and over against my better judgment. Without proper nutrition, the old neuropaths too often seem to have seniority as they have been there a lot longer time.

When malnourished I loose the ability to use my new tools. Tool box is locked, or too heavy to pick up, old ways kick in, even though I know better.

Thanks to Meditation enhancing all that I have ever learned, including the "Anonymous Recovery Program", my brain has now been re-wired… Taking meditation seriously leads to incredible insights…

I NOW HAVE CLUE, OF WHO I AM.

Between these two crucial parts of my recovery, I now have the ability to "Let Go" of much of what I'd learned that was detrimental. "Beliefs", which are simply only thoughts that I keep on thinking. There is no more room for negative, self-defeating "Beliefs".

I would like to take the time to thank this "Anonymous Recovery Program" and ALL members for allowing me to be alive, by showing me "The Way" and to be a part of this awesome Human/Spiritual evolution.

Were it not for the Birth of a New Solution, through strong continuation of such a powerful program through attendance of any and ALL alcoholics, (equality), I would not have received the grace to wake up and live. I was totally stuck in "give up and die." Truly an amazing program brought about through Devine intervention and HIGH guidance.

I must also thank all involved for allowing this to come to light, allowing me to finally grieve and let go of my fathers passing away 12 years ago. I need to thank him for his part in this, for making me, to a large extent who I AM today and of course my mother for all she has done for me. I have the desire to thank everyone I ever met in my life, Every Single Person I have crossed paths with, as this is what it took for me to get to a point of doing something of TRUE VALUE, TODAY. It sure beats dying. I would also like to thank you for your part in all this as well.

I HAD NO IDEA THAT THIS THING CALLED "LIFE" or "RECOVERY" WAS SO MUCH MORE OF AN INSIDE JOB, than an internal reflection of external Pain.

This "Anonymous Recovery Program has had a Much Higher Purpose," right from the beginning, than strictly sobering up drunks. This program is hugely successful and growing steadily against all odds." The Divinity & success of this Program stems from Biggest Truth fulfilled, true equality. The most powerful principle required for spiritual growth, "True Equality." This Devine program has been given to us to alter the course of humanity.

This "Anonymous Recovery Program" is the God-given KEY, unlocking the codes to truth. The end of insecurity.

The beginning of the end. The end of the devastating illusion of Separation. (Inequality)

WE, humanity are stepping up to HIGHER purpose.

The aim here is higher ground, before the flood of unnecessary repeat history. It is time that We, the people, look after our own people in the "correct energies."

IT IS TIME TO TAKE RESPONSIBILITY, SO THAT WE CAN 'TAKE PROUD OWNERSHIP of what we do AS A SPECIES'

It is not the responsibility of someone else, or future generations to clean this up. There "Is No Future" for the entire species if we continue this irresponsible behavior of DENIAL. It is OUR responsibility to CLEAN THIS UP…now.

WHAT WE DO "NOW", ECHOES THROUGH ETERNITY.

It is time to be Real human beings. We no longer have to live as scarred, misinformed animals running on negative energies. We are finally stepping out of the third dimension, the dark ages, and into our destination of higher purpose,

TRUE ONENESS…True Equality.

The "Devine model" designed to keep this "Anonymous Recovery Program" functioning smoothly is called the "Twelve traditions".

These traditions are in place to rule out Ego or misguided management to prevent the destruction or corruption of this successful Powerful program through corrupt, controlling issues from within…

Specifically Tradition # 1 and #2. These Traditions have been given to us, to apply to OUR GOVERNING BODIES ensuring honest management of such.

No One's Ego is in charge. The Higher Arcky IS the amazing Power of Love, which means, NO more corruption, NO dictatorship no B.S. We need this desperately in World Government right down to municipal authorities and so-called services.

The twelve steps are a "DESIGN FOR LIVING", a manual, if you will, for the sober alcoholic. A manual for Anyone having ANY kind of difficulty with destructive behavior, of self or otherwise.

IT IS TIME TO PUT THE EGO ASIDE AND TAP INTO HIGHER VALLUES. Time to do the only "Right" thing. Live in truth….yeah people. I thank you all from heart to heart…

I am so happy to thank my best friend, Mr. Richard Anonymous, for your support and your friendship.

There are so many of you to thank, but that would require another 50 pages. I would also like to thank ALL my friends in this amazing "Anonymous Recovery Program".

You know who you are. You ALL are, every one who attends. Even those I have not yet met. Thanks to my brother's, who have helped me in life more than I care to admit and their respectful wives. Thanks Mom, for ALL you have done for me. THANKS TO ALL OF YOU.

Oh yeah, one more thing. I have lost the ability to read for over half a decade now. That is, to read in depth. Five, six years ago I'd become unable to absorb what I was reading so I quit reading. I thought that it was because the boozing was finally taking it's toll and it was. Once sober for a period of time, I figured that my reading ability would come back in sobriety and it has not…

Seems that I have cooked that part of my brain through so much power drinking. I can read clearly for only one, two or three pages and then that's it, I'm FULL. That's it, no more absorption….

Very frustrating. I must read at a snails pace to absorb a book now. I have read only one book since getting sober. A little book called "eat pray love" by Elizabeth Gilbert. Took me over six months to read it a couple of pages at a time. I presently can't read much. I have also benefited from reading some of "Change your thoughts-CHANGE your mind" by Dr. Wayne Dyer up to page 59 before completion of this disclosure.

Depending on your perception, you may find the ego of this alcoholic surfacing in this letter. If that is the case for you, I apologize for this. That is not my intention. It is not possible to explain my past, my alcoholism and MY individuality without Human Ego penetrating into this explanatory letter, especially written in chemically imbalanced state. Alcoholism is a disease of Denial, self-will run riot…

With help in proper editing, this element of personal Ego can be minimized, so as to be fully EFFECTIVE in this necessary wake up call through "Proper Delivery" of "Sacred Divine Truth"…

Definition of an Alcoholic: Egomaniac with an inferiority complex. First time I heard this I laughed my head off… then I thought… wait a minute…

THIS DISCLOSURE WILL HELP DOCTORS TO BRIDGE THE GAP with the alcoholic and this hugely successful "Anonymous Recovery Program" to better understand Alcoholism thus getting the Medical Profession MORE "on board" the recovery process.

This "Anonymous Program" is a "feeling" program. Life IS a "feeling" experience. Proper thinking leads to proper Actions and in turn, good feelings and emotions = wellness, balance, spirituality. It's all about "feelings", learning how to have the "good" ones. Learning to feel life, learning to flow, dropping the need for resistance.

Although I believe ALL if not most "Drunks" suffer from nutritional deficiency causing imbalance as a HUGE contributing factor to their alcoholism.

Many are unaware at the magnitude of this factor and follow the advice of the "professionals" taking prescription drugs to deal with nutritional deficiencies.

MANY STILL SUFFER TO VARYING DEGREES DUE TO THIS PHARMACEUTICAL APPROACH, SEEMINGLY OBLIVIOUS TO THE IMPORTANCE OF PROPER NUTRITION, causing their quality of sobriety to be much less than what it could or should be.

Unnecessary pharmaceutical drugs weakens the "spirit" of the human being, making spirituality more difficult or impossible to attain in many cases, keeping that patient Disconnected from source.

Of course when a patient has no knowledge of Nutritional Therapy, drugs may be required for some, but certainly NOT all. Aside from that, I have never met a stupid alcoholic, especially in the recovery process.

PLEASE do not stop meds abruptly, even if you are not obtaining desired effect from meds. Stopping medication abruptly can lead to death. Educate yourself on proper nutrition first, if you are going to choose the nutrition way as this has to be done safely.

Much of society thinks addiction to be a weak persons dilemma, a person suffering from lack of willpower. In most cases, in the beginning it is all about good times. At some point, the fun turns for the worst, the alcoholic Must drink now. The party is over. The self-hatred gets turned up a notch. The denial of what is taking place is nothing short of mental illness. What is happening is mental illness in itself.

At some point in this disease most cannot separate the facts from reality. This disease of "denial" runs very deep. It does not appear to be a disease in the early stages. We will begin to hide the volume of booze consumed, not because we have a problem with quantity, but because every one else does. We the Alcoholic are of a complex bunch, (highly sensitive). Many of us may play it down a little, or a lot, out of embarrassment and shame only to find out it gets so bad, we must get help or die. Party's over.

I would like to share a significant little prayer with all concerned; STEP ELEVEN PRAYER.

"Lord, make me a channel of thy peace-that where there is hatred, I may bring love-that where there is wrong, I may bring the spirit of forgiveness-that where there is discord, I may bring harmony, that where there is error, I may bring truth-that where there is doubt, I may bring faith-that where there is despair, I may bring hope-that where there are shadows, I may bring light-that where there is sadness, I may bring joy. Lord, grant that I may seek rather to comfort than be comforted-to understand, than to be understood-to love, than to be loved. For it is by self-forgetting that one finds. It is by forgiving that one is forgiven. It is by dying that one awakens to eternal life." I Thank you…

I had refused to pray for so many years. Thanks to the "Program" showing me THE WAY, I know pray daily.

THERE IS NO DOUBT as to the effectiveness of prayer.

The last line in this prayer used to upset me… I know understand, as the old ###### has recently been put to eternal sleep. The old me, had to literally "die" in order to be of any Real use to "myself" and "others".

I was so tired of not being the Real me… That is why I struggled all my life with wanting to die. With this awareness there is no going back, "Just for Today", LIVE LIFE. It is time to live in love. I am so blessed; I am finally starting to get it…

COMPASSION.

I have been spared through finally "Being" in the "Right" energy. This thing most call "God", lives and enjoys "Itself" through all that "Is", through "Us", through "Me", through the "Energy of Love" for "It IS Love".

We ARE Love but of course we all have a choice.

ANY, happily sober Alcoholic IS a miracle.

This letter will not be all that palatable to some people.

SOME WILL BE VERY UPSET, DOWN RIGHT FURIOUS OVER EXPOSING SUCH TRUTH. Some will try and defend the "Old Lies" through their devotion to distorted truths, which of course "Is Fear"… Their anger is only due to extreme suffering caused by the LIES in the first place.

We cannot continue to "hang on" to Devastating, expired Lies through ongoing fears, distortions of truth, thousands of years old, at the expense of ALL of Humanity. Truthbe told…

A HANDFULL OF INTERNATIONAL BANKERS, and AMERICAN BUSINESSMEN, HAVE BEEN PLAYING God WITH OUR FREEDOM AND THE FATE OF HUMANITY to fulfill their LITTERAL addiction to POWER and CONTROL through ridiculous wealth. This is accomplished through mass-acceptance of spiritually devastating old & new lies.

Literally Addicted to Wealth, Power & Control due to Low-Consciousness. Spiritually Void Trillionaires & Gazillionaires

Architects of Human Devastation are now expired, "for the highest good of ALL"…With Truth, we ban together fearlessly, and become Architects of MAGNIFICENCE.         The Real Deal… people. Literally

We can not afford to be defending or allowing defense of old lies…

LET'S TAKE A SERIOUS LOOK AT THE ANSWERS, TO THE QUESTIONS.

Rather than staying stuck in the questions to oblivion, public truth allows us to focus on the answers instead of remaining paralyzed with unanswerable questions.

THIS IS TOO BIG A DEAL, TO BE ENTERTAINING OR SUPPORTING OLD LIES.

Old lies keep posing questions… OLD LIES will cost us OUR very existence.

"I do not oppose any of J.C.'s True teachings. Compassion and True Equality which, Is Peace, by the way."

I oppose the teachings of corrupt, EGO driven men in power.

                         

                       TRUTH IS, THE ANSWER…

I am not the anti-Christ,

I AM THE PRO-TRUTH, PRO-EQUALITY, PEACE GUY.

This message was 'being' delivered to us between 2010 and 2015 years ago by an enlightened man and was distorted so badly that germination did not take place, due to corruption.

The One and only son of God is a big fat lie used to keep God separate, at a distance from humanity rather than where this God is and resides, within humanity, when in alignment with the correct energies, individually as well as collectively.

The New seed of this message took 76 years to germinate. Not that long, when you look at the history of War and ugliness throughout the ages.

There will be a serious uproar about the Vatican Fact, but take a Real "serious" Look at their methods of Domination through promotion of "FEAR".

Lack of woman, in the whole power structure of, and the "cover-ups" of such unacceptable acts of "child molestation and rape".

These "spiritual low life's" have immunity to abuse, to rape and destroy young lives….to control young children through the fear of God.

These people have the "same immunity" to unacceptable "acts" as the Governing bodies…. WHY is this?

Organized religion has spread the most devastating Lies about normal human sexuality as being dirty and spiritually unhealthy.

This has damaged the psychology (sub-consciously) of the human species on a Huge scale. To deny our selves our true nature causes extreme spiritual imbalance.

The time is Now, to bridge the gap. To combine the proper balance of Yin and Yang, through combining Both male and female energy together (instead of accepting a devastating host of lies, thousands of years old), for it is the way we are built, both physically and SPIRITUALLY.

Through the "open" concept of a "loving God", (which IS Truth), rather than a "God of Judgment", (which are lies), out to punish me every time I do something perfectly human…

WITHOUT THE "FEAR" FACTOR, I BEHAVE OUT OF LOVE (truth) INSTEAD OF FEAR (lies).

The "true respect of love" instead of the old lies of "false respect through fear". This changes everything.

The perception, or thought patterns are opposite.

"High Frequency", verses "Low frequency"…

My will and the will of a loving God line up to being the same with the "Loving" approach, (to seek within).

Through a "God of Judgment" approach, perception or psychology is warped. Through the "Judgment, Fear" approach, there is "Incredible Resistance" with my will being in line with that of a judging God, since this approach involves a scary powerful force "outside" of self, Constantly judging me harshly.

Respect through fear is insincere and very damaging to the human spirit. This old approach has kept us paralyzed in regards to doing the right thing as a species. Fear has kept us in a spiritual coma.

The human heart is so much more than a mere blood pump. It is time to move our logic down into to the heart and wake up this amazing dormant spiritual technology.

I AM ONLY ONE PERSON "HEALING" THROUGH THE POWER OF COMPASSION, AND TRUTH.

Result of SEEKING WITHIN…

CAN YOU IMAGINE MILLIONS AND MILLIONS OF PEOPLE WITH THIS CLARITY… With this healing…

With this new delivery approach, the Program way (compassion), there can be no mistake that the message is delivered through someone very human, a drunk for Christ's sake. Not someone so seemingly different, that grace "seems" unattainable to all.

THE SECOND COMING IS NOT IN ONE PERSON'S BODY, BUT IN THE BODY OF HUMANITY…. As we are "all" ONE… Everyone of us IS…the offspring of Divinity…

Even though the Program does not promote or speak of Christ in any way, IT IS his way…

IT STARTS WITH BEING "WILLING" TO CHANGE.

Willingness… Acceptance, Reception, Compassion, Truth, Self-inventory, Equality, Honesty, Humility, WILLINGNESS, Forgiveness, Meditation and Prayer (to seek within) and Enlightenment through Truth…Compassion… (12 steps)

"YOU WILL BE AMAZED BEFORE YOU'RE HALF WAY THROUGH…"

I've only shared the first five steps, "in depth" with you so far.

The "Christ Light" shines brightly through anyone and EVERYONE who DOES the 12 steps of RECOVERY to the best of their ability.

This includes the meditation & "proper prayer" part of the program, (Coming from a place of GRATITUDE, rather than sorrow), to be fully effective. Sadly, many neglect the meditation part, due to intimidation.

The last many messengers were publicly murdered. This time the messenger is Anonymous, so this public execution thing can finally be done away with. Since I cannot be attacked directly for sharing my truth, Humanity will have a chance at absorbing and digesting this essential Disclosure rather than putting negative energy into harassing, or destroying the messenger this time around.

Anonymity is "immunity" to fear-based human judgment, allowing "recovery of truth to commence" without the distortions of human judgment interference.

I do not take credit for the delivery of this message, from UNIVERSAL CONSCIOUSNESS, that credit belongs to the fellowship of this enlightening "Anonymous Program".

I am presently just an alcoholic human transmitting Truth so that we, awaken and get to a state of "integrity", within human form, now. Evolving "our" dimension, "humanity" included. Allowing "us" (humanity), to not only continue to exist, or BE, but to also Wake Up and thrive. To create Honest Governing Systems or Bodies… Heaven on earth, IT IS POSSIBLE… It is our essential evolution.

                                 OUR                                                                                             DESTINY

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Like ALL alcoholics, being a highly sensitive bunch, I was suffering, so badly about the LIE that I had to escape. The external mirror of internal heart turmoil was undeniable self-destruction. I was in denial most of my adult life in regards to my Truth.

Thank God, I was so tired of not being ME, that I was willing to die, living the lie.

THE AGE-OLD QUESTION, WHAT IS LIFE SUPPOSED TO BE ABOUT, what is my purpose in ALL this?

It is time for Global recovery of the "Human Spirit." When our human spirit is in accordance with the right energies, "we are All Miraculous Creators"…

This is ALL about Global Forgiveness. Not about holding all those accountable for the past, but it is time for "self-inventory", it's about holding "ourselves" accountable for what WE DO TODAY, as individuals, AND as a SPECIES.

 

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