l and a heavy heart, my dear friend. I am struggling so hard to complete my mission here on Earth-Shan... yet I feel as if I am failing terribly. I wanted to write to you for some advice, prayer, support - anything you could offer a fellow Truthseeker, please.

I found Fourwinds several months ago, the exact date slips my mind, and it has opened my eyes and changed my life in ways I didn't think possible. Learning the Truth set me free from the religious matrix and changed how I viewed life. However with all the good that has come about... some darkness still holds tightly to me. I have not been able to quit smoking cigerettes nor have I been able to free myself from sexual addictions (viewing inappropriate material on the internet and acting out sexually). Everytime I fall down and do these things... my heart aches so bad, for I know I am doing wrong. I have read the first few Pheonix Journals and I know the difference between right and wrong. I am accountable for my actions, thoughts and sins. I have prayed to Creator God Christ Micheal, My Guardian Angels, My Brothers and Sisters in the Lighted Realms and the Master Creator God, The Creator Source of all that is, was and ever will be - yet I still fail in my tasks. I have asked that they surround me in their precious White Light. I have tried to surround myself in the White Light. I have asked to have these things removed from my life and to have the space that filled these addictions to be filled with the Light and Love - yet I continue to sin and do these things. I don't know what to do friend. I am so saddened by these trials I am struggling with... I feel I am at a loss.

I have chosen in my heart, mind and soul what I WANT to do. I want to complete my mission here on Earth-Shan. I want to live my life according to the Truth and the laws of Creation. I want to participate in the Ascension and leave behind all that is 3-D. I want to be proud of my soul growth and I want Creator Source and Christ Micheal proud of my growth and progress.

I dont know what I am doing wrong. Perhaps I am not believing enough in myself to make these issues go away. Perhaps they are here in my life as my final tasks in this 3-D lifestream. Perhaps it part of my mental illness that keeps me from overcoming these trials. Honestly, I do not know why I fail in overcoming these issues. Please friend, what is to become of me? Am I going to miss out on the Second Coming and be turned into dust? Is there still hope for me to Ascend with Earth-Shan? Tears fill my soul as I write these words. I am ashamed of these addictions and actions... I long for the day I will be free. Please Patrick, share your thoughts with me and pray with me. Thank you for allowing me the oppurtunity to share my heart with you. Be well and with peace.

In Love and Light,

DE

(Response)

FROM: Patrick H. Bellringer

TO: DE

DATE: Dec. 23, 2005

SUBJECT: Reply

Dear DE:

Thank you for your letter. Your desire to be whole and to act in goodness is the first step to wellness. You have taken action based on your desire to change your life by praying and asking for help.

Now you need to take the next step and take command of your situation. First, I suggest that you forgive yourself and get rid of your guilt, than order the Darkside to leave your space, and then ask for specific help when you need it. Let us start with forgiveness.

To start anew you must leave the past behind. You have forgotten to love yourself. To be free you cannot be haunted by your past. You must forgive yourself, forgive others, and make amends where you can. Then ask God to forgive you. When you have done this, then you drop all the baggage of the past and move on. Only then are you free to be yourself, to be the new you.

You may need to clear your space of all controlling spirits and energies, if you have not already done so. The following prayer may be helpful.

"Through my God Spirit within and my Mighty I AM Presence, I order all evil spirits and entities of any kind, and all evil energies to leave my space immediately, and to be gone from me completely and permanently. I ask, also, that all evil desires and temptations be removed from me completely and permanently.

I ask for the White Light of protection of Creator God, and the Golden Light of Esu Immanuel Sananda, and the Violet Light of unconditional Love of Violinio Germain to fill all space left by these departing entities and energies. I ask for immediate wellness and wholeness in my physical, emotional, spiritual and etheric self. Yes, and I ask the same for all others, who desire such wholeness as I do at this time. I give the Lighted Realms and my Guardian Angels and Guides permission to do whatever is necessary to assist in fulfilling this petition. So be it! It is done!"

Having sincerely prayed this prayer, you must now believe that for which you have prayed. Believe that all evil spirits and energies that you had have now left your space forever. Believe that the evil desires and temptations you had are now gone forever, and believe that you now have the protection of Creator God and Esu Immanuel and unconditional Love filling all your spaces. Feel the freedom you have from the Darkness, and the joy of being free.

You have the power of thought to conquer any foe. When Dark desires and temptations come, know that you have power over them. Tell them to leave, and call in your troops from the Realms of Light to help. Ask your Guardian Angels to help you.

Everyone has at least two Guardian Angels appointed to be with them at all times from birth to death, but few people ever ask them for help. They are not allowed to do things for us without our permission, as they would be usurping our freewill and breaking the Cosmic Law of Divine of Non-intervention. Yet, they are compelled to help us accomplish goodness when we ask them to assist us. They are eagerly waiting to help us at all times, so simply ask for their help.

The simplest prayer is but two words, "Angels, help!" "Sananda, help!" Sananda says that when you say, "Sananda, help!" in sincerity, he immediately stands between you and your adversary, and you are protected. So, when you are tempted, call for help either out loud or in your thoughts, and you have it, if you believe that you do.

It is all about belief, my friend! We walk in faith, believing that which we cannot see with our 3D eyes but knowing in our heart is true. The Forces of Light of the higher dimensions are very real, and our thoughts are very real and powerful. It is through thought that we tap into the vast communication system of Light energy of the Cosmos, which connects us to all of Creation and to Creator Source. When you truly realize this, you become a different and powerful person.

You ask, "What is to become of me?" With the help of the Lighted Realms you can become whatever it is you want to become. Having dropped the baggage of the past through forgiveness and having ordered out the Darkness and called in the Light, you are now free to BE!

My brother, may you find both the freedom and the Truth you seek.

In Love and Light,

Patrick H. Bellringer

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