Once upon a time, not all that long ago, bullying was considered a rite of passage and generally dismissed by adults as “kids being kids.” As more and more tormented kids take drastic measures in a desperate bid to end the pain they suffer at the hands of playground bullies that attack during recess and daily school breaks, however, adults are beginning to understand the deep importance of the issue. Still, it’s not always easy to know the best ways of handling a playground bully from an adult perspective.

Talk To Your Children

If you suspect that your child is the victim of a bully, the first step is to talk to her about what she’s experiencing. Kids are often reticent when it comes to talking about the humiliation that comes with being bullied, so the conversation is one that you should approach delicately. Make sure that your child understands she should never physically retaliate against a bully, and that it’s okay to go to a teacher if she feels threatened. She also needs to know that what she’s experiencing is not her fault. If you have more than one school-aged child, it may also pay to talk to her siblings about what’s happening while they’re at school. Siblings can be a font of knowledge regarding the social intricacies of schoolyard interactions, and can help you get a more detailed picture of what’s happening.

Contact the Appropriate Adults

In some cases, a simple call or email to the parents of your child’s tormentor will be enough to put a stop to the bully’s actions. When you’re not able to contact a parent or contacting them doesn’t net real results, however, your next step should be a meeting with your child’s teacher and school administrators. Most campuses have a zero-tolerance policy when it comes to bullying, and will do everything within their power to put a stop to such behavior.

Monitor Social Media Usage

The days of a child suffering from bullying only at school are over, and now bullies have a farther reach than ever thanks to the round-the-clock reach that the Internet and social media gives to kids. It’s not much of a stretch from playground bullying to online harassment, even amongst kids and tweens. The best way to eliminate playground bullying that spills over into personal time is to make sure that your young children are not maintaining social media accounts without your knowledge. Remember that the Terms of Use governing most of these sites do specify a minimum age for participation, and usually for these very reasons.

Dealing With Very Young Playground Bullies

When the bully in question is a preschooler on the playground at a neighborhood park, the situation becomes even more delicate. In a perfect world, the parent or childcare provider of a bullying youngster would be alert and engaged, noticing the child’s behavior and taking steps to correct it before things get out of hand. More often than not, however, a mom or nanny is so wrapped up in her conversation or smartphone that she pays no heed to what’s happening on the playground. There’s certainly no rule against explaining to a small child that his behavior isn’t nice, but those words aren’t likely to have much impact when they come from a stranger. Calmly obtaining the parent or childcare provider’s attention in order to respectfully explain the situation is your best bet. Be sure that you’re calm and collected before you approach the adult that’s responsible, however, as it’s easy to lose your cool when tensions run high. If all else fails, separate your child from the situation and move to another part of the playground. Lengthy conversations about bullying aren’t likely to stick with a very small child, so it’s better to just remove him from the area to avoid further confrontation.

How to Deal When Your Child is the Bully

Few things are as disheartening and humiliating as learning that your child is a playground bully. Being called into the office by the principal to deal with allegations of bullying or facing the ire of a mom whose child has been victimized by yours at the park is never pleasant, and can cause you to feel rather insecure regarding your parenting style. It’s important that you swallow any of your own feelings on the subject that could interfere with approaching your child and confronting her bullying habits. A long conversation about what bullying is, why it’s wrong and how it can hurt people will usually be enough to help a young and misguided child see the error of his ways.