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MARCH 2,  1992


Greetings, Precious Druthea.  I AM Sananda.  I come in service to Holy God of Light and to you my brethren on Earth Shan.  I am pleased you have called me, chela, to write and share with your brethren.  It has been a most difficult period of “time” se­quence for you, Dru, as well as many of you in this core circle.

(For you readers, Dru’s beloved cat has just jumped into her lap which happens nearly always when she sits to write for any of us.  This is confirmation for Dru in that kitty is most aware of our presence and Dru’s centered quality.)

When I speak of “difficult” time sequence, in this case, I am re­ferring to emotional impact.  When each of you find yourselves responding from your emotional aspect, often you will feel quite insecure and filled with doubts and perhaps confusion.

Poor self-esteem is developed when you become stuck in the habit of reacting to circumstances from a point of emotional in­security which you have not yet been able to resolve or find the cause of.  Also poor self-esteem is developed when you believe the opinions of others who have made harsh judgments about you.

Self-esteem itself as defined in your dictionary simply means:  A good opinion of oneself.  And when I refer to this term, I am not speaking about EGO self-centered, superiority opinion of self.  I speak of self-respect and self-honor just as you would respect and honor others. 



Insecurity defined:  Troubled by anxiety and apprehensive­ness; threatened.  I rather like this definition in that it describes the feelings one feels and then gives a general cause, that being feeling THREATENED in some way.  Now what you must find is what it is you feel threatened of losing.  Because the founda­tion of your insecurity rests on an illusion of per­ceived loss of something you perceive you don’t want to lose.  Most often, chelas, your view of self is built by your altered ego and there­fore is easily shaken down and threatened.  You can never lose anything that is real.  If a friendship and/or marriage is built upon REAL love and caring which is truly MUTUAL between the sharing parties, there is NOTHING which can tear down that foundation.  Only things which are superficial and altered-ego built can and will eventually be challenged and “fall apart”.

You must look deep into self and question your self-doubts.  Many of you “think” you are not very “good”.  And you base this self-judgement often upon an ideal of “goodness” which may or may not be real.  Most of you compare yourselves con­tinually with others, the way you look, behave, respond and live.  Please understand this conditioning which you have each adopted in varying degrees.

Let me example, precious little Druthea.  This one spent many years, from her early teenage years, until recently, thinking her­self not attractive enough.  I asked her and I ask you,WHO do you allow to set standards of beauty for YOU and WHY do you want to meet another’s standard?  Is it truly a God-WORTHY standard?  I will share with you that for years as I monitored the most fragile esteem of Dru, she measured her goodness and ac­ceptability of be­longing on how her physical body and face “looked” to the world.  This beloved child is so very beautiful and it was only recently that she understood that her beauty is WITHIN her, and thus, naturally radiates out of her.  I example her for many, many women and men measure themselves only from the material illusion and most often fail to KNOW them­selves and accept their own individual uniqueness as a contribu­tion to the WHOLE.  The root of this sort of material VANITY was discussed at length in PHOENIX OPERATOR/OWNER MANUAL, so I will not repeat herein.

Does this mean that Dru will stop efforting to improve self and be a “better” person?  No.  You each have set ideals and goals for yourselves and that can be very beneficial for your soul growth, as long as you are flexible and are willing to reevaluate your goals and ideals and per­haps make adjustments towards a more balanced perception of the ideal.

When ones get in trouble is when they set a goal in just a certain way and refuse to adjust it or reevaluate it as circumstances change.  If the goal is based upon EGO-centered fulfillment it will accomplish the opposite.  The reason is that EGO-centered fulfillment usually requires de­fiance of God’s Laws of Balance.  Remember your adversary KNOWS his goal—World Con­trol—and has accomplished it to a great degree by adjusting his plans as necessary.  Eventually he still loses for, although he may trap a few million souls this time, ALL eventually return to God, and that includes him, one way or another.



Any person who attains a level of leadership for others, be it parent, teacher, manager, coach or government member, be­comes himself an example which others will at least acknowl­edge and often effort to emulate.  “Leaders” have much respon­sibility for their own actions and be­haviors.  A true leader is only successful in degree to the INNER GOD-CENTERED KNOWLEDGE which he attains.  This is because a true God-Centered leader always seeks to do the best for the WHOLE, not just himself, and therefore, makes more balanced choices and decisions.  Now, on your place, I am not talking about per­fection here, I am speaking about INTENT to achieve balance by setting, communicating and acting on WHOLE-related goals.

The leaders you admire most today for that which they have done, have made many “poor” decisions in their past.  The dif­ference between a God-balanced leader and an Egocentric leader is that the God-balanced leader has gleaned valuable knowledge and understanding be­cause of his experiences and has searched for and found the better way.  He is also most will­ing to ac­knowledge and seek to rectify his own errors.  Simply put, he is RESPONSIBLE for his actions and decisions and carefully weighs the consequences of both.

Now Druthea (I’m telling her secret) admires Commander Ha­tonn in a very special way.  She feels him to be her Father for she has never had “a father” who met her ideals and needs on Earth Shan.  Commander Hatonn sets a very real example of wisdom, compassion, strength and leadership which Dru re­spects and honors and efforts to accomplish.  We find this to be so very precious because she has quickly developed such a high level of self-security and confi­dence, although she doesn’t really see this in herself.  Ah, so it is with self-judgment.  You are each always much harder on yourselves in your imperfection.  You gain a little knowledge and then are only able to see a vaster plane of what you don’t yet know!  So be it.

Remember something, precious ones, each of you is a develop­ing leader and you are only given responsibilities which you are capable of responding to.  This does not mean you will always make the best choice in every situation.  You must be willing to evaluate the perceived “failures” and recognize your errors in perception and action.  Only by understanding the CAUSE can you then make more balanced decisions in the subsequent cir­cumstances which you are presented with.  This means SELF-honesty is the key or you will remain in self-DELUSION and continue to make unbalanced decisions which will reflect in your lack of suc­cess as a leader. 



Monitor your intent.  Is it Ego-self-centered?  Is it greed?  Is it security?  Is it Love-based?  Do you know the difference?  If not, learn to evaluate your feelings.  If you are afraid—WHY?  If you are angry. WHY?  If you feel UNworthy.  WHY?  If you feel threatened.  WHY?  When you are able to honestly ascer­tain the cause of your feelings, you will learn to know the dif­ference between God-Centered responses and decisions and EGO-centered re­sponses and decisions.  Is it easy?  Not at first.  Remember your DESIRE for God-balance will create the thought body for you to manifest it IF your soul intent is to serve Creator GOD of Light.

Let us close this document.  I trust that I have brought under­standing to you of my precious brethren.  Thank you, Druthea, for your service and allowed sharing of personal experiences.  You ones will find that you share many of the same errors in perceptions and you must never be ashamed of past experiences which have brought you to the level of understanding and growth which you have attained to this day.  You cannot change any circumstance of the past.  You can, through knowledge gained of the experience, choose to make better, more balanced choices in your “now” times.


I AM Sananda.  Walk in Peace and Love and know that the time is near for My coming.  Salu.